Kitty's Discoveries
by aem82
Summary: Bakura thought he had seen and done all. But, by somehow escaping death after the ultimate shadow game, he's now stuck in the present... with the losers. That's just his luck to be stranded with people like Marik, Ryou, and the bloody Pharaoh. No yaoi.
1. Chapter I: The Deal

**Kitty's Discoveries**

_Author's Note: A side story for fun and laughs. Hope you enjoy! :)_

Chapter I: The Deal

Bakura leaned his head back to look at the bleak desert sky above him. Rain was beginning to fall quickly onto his head and wind threatened to tear what was left of him to pieces.

But, none of that mattered. At least he was alive.

Bakura had barely escaped the devastation that the Pharaoh tried to unleash on him. Yami Bakura was a snake. He could not be trapped nor tamed. The Pharaoh was a fool to think he could get rid of him that easily. He was back and better than ever.

Now, he just needed to find his way back to civilization...

Bakura looked distastefully left and then right. The Valley of the Kings is where he was dwelling, and it miles from any shelter. He of all people would know.

Taking refuge in an old tomb was always an option, but he highly doubted their was any food or water waiting for him down there.

His best bet was to start walking and pray the spirits guided him somewhere that had food and slash or water.

Bakura growled as the rain began to pound down on the Egyptian sand harder. He hated everything in the world now. And, the horribly irritating weather was not healing his outlook on society.

After several hours, Bakura found himself in an environment that appeared the same as the rest of the desert but was somehow familiar.

Becoming too exhausted to even come up with a simple plan, the thief decided, for now, to duck into one of the abandoned tombs and wait out the storm raging above Egypt.

Bakura pulled up a trap door and dropped into a random tomb much like an undercover agent. He circled a corner of the tomb a few times before collapsing on the dusty floor. The moonlight from the crack in the trap door above casted a bit of light over Bakura's figure and let some of the weather in, rain dripping from above and into the tomb. Bakura absolutely despised the dripping noise but chose to ignore it.

The tired spirit rested his head on the tomb floor and tried to sleep, but the dripping noise was excessive and the floor felt like ice.

He rose and leaned against the stone wall, trying to entertain himself with anything in the tomb.

His gaze locked onto a shattered mirror a few paces away. Curious, he crawled to it and leaned over the scattered pieces, catching his reflection.

Bakura scowled. His pure white hair was a snarled mess and his ghostly white complexion was eroded away and caked with sand.

Gently, Bakura licked his hands and tried to pat down his mangy hair.

"Aww... 'Kura! You look like a little, homeless kitten!" a voice rang out, making the thief jump.

"Damn, there's no way..." Bakura muttered as winced, his eye twitching. It couldn't be him. There was no way. He knew his luck was at an all-time low but _seriously_?

"Com'on, 'Kura, don't be like that," the person Bakura refused to identify pleaded, "Look up at me."

Bakura wanted to grow wings and fly away. Far, far away. But, no, no luck would smile on him today.

Reluctantly, Bakura lifted his head, locking his dull blue eyes on Marik.

"There he is!" Marik cheered in a sing-song voice. Bakura wanted to struggle him. The Egyptian boy asked, "How'd you get here?"

"Well," the yami explained, "I was defeated in an ultimate shadow game, narrowly escaped death, and wandered this god-forsaken desert for who knows how long until I crawled into this random cave to lie down and die. And, you're interrupting me, so please, if you don't mind, go away." He leaned to the ground and placed his head back on the frozen, stone floor.

Marik smirked and leaned over Bakura, pulling him up. He held him by his shoulders and shook the thief, yelling, "There's no way I'm gonna let you wait here for death to take you! You've come too far to let that happen! You're Bakura, the ancient and legendary thief king! Start acting like it!"

Marik's little pep talk actually made Bakura somewhat glad that he had found him. It was always nice to have someone singing your praises.

He slapped Marik's hands off his shoulder and dusted himself off saying, "You know, Egyptian Pansy, you may just be right."

"Of course I'm right!" Marik exclaimed, letting the 'Egyptian Pansy' thing slide.

Suddenly, the yami's stomach growled a low moan.

Marik laughed and patted Bakura's back, saying, "Com'on, Kitty, let's go get you some food."

Bakura guessed the 'Kitty' nickname was enough revenge for the 'Egyptian Pansy' thing. Besides, Marik had food. And, Bakura was starving.

-transition-

"So..." Ishizu tried to make small talk with the spirit, "... You are..."

"Bakura," he picked up and began listing, "Thief King, Stealer of Souls, Master of Shadow Magic, whatever floats your boat, lady."

She glanced skeptically at Marik who was preparing a meal for Bakura in the kitchen. He just shook his head with a smirk.

Bakura was lying on an old bed. It wasn't the most comfortable mattress in the world, he decided, but it was much better than the frozen floor or desolate sands that surrounded this little oasis Marik and his family lived in.

He was shaking a little from the cold, something he deemed unacceptable. Pulling the sheets up to cover more of him, he complained loudly, "I thought you said these blankets were supposed to make me warmer not colder!"

Ishizu sighed and explained, "They're electric blankets. You have to turn them on."

"Oh," the ancient spirit articulated. He picked up the blanket's dial and wondered how in the name of Ra was he supposed to make it work. He began to bang the little devise on the side of the bed.

"No, Bakura, stop!" Ishizu commanded a little louder than necessary. She took the contraption from the yami's hand and began toying with it. Eventually, it began to heat the blanket up.

"Ah," Bakura smiled, but his smile was more sinister than friendly, "That's much better."

Ishizu questioned, "You don't know much about the modern age, do you?"

"On a scale of one to ten on being technological savvy, I'd say I'm a negative twelve," Bakura retorted just to prove her statement.

She nodded as if she understood and left the room. Marik replaced her within a few minutes, carrying a tray of food.

Bakura devoured it quickly, though most of it was fresh fruit, which he despised. He preferred raw meat, often taken right off the bone. But, food was food to Bakura at this point, finally recalling that it had been days since he had nourished himself.

"Aww, looks like the little homeless kitty was hungry," Marik sang in a baby voice.

If Bakura's face wasn't stuffed at that moment, he would have chocked Marik to death with the fruit. And, that was a slow death.

But instead, he didn't answer.

Marik took this rare opportunity of Bakura's generosity to sit down next to him and ask, "So, where are you going from here, Bakura?"

The spirit gulped another large swallow of food before countering dryly, "What do you mean?"

The Egyptian shrugged, stating, "Well, you're back in the modern age, so you kind of need to find a place to stay."

Bakura mulled this over in his mind before questioning, "Can't I just rob a bank and retire comfortably in a condo in Maui?"

Marik chuckled but shook his head. He explained, "Twenty-first century law enforcement would catch you in ten minutes. Face it, 'Kura, you don't know how to survive in the modern times."

"What'cha gonna do? Through me back out into the storm?" Bakura challenged, "You don't have the heart."

"You're right," Marik agreed, "But, I know someone who will take you in."

"Who?" Bakura questioned, crossing his arms with a cocky grin as he thought that there was no one foolish enough on this earth to take him in.

But, he was wrong.

"Ryou."

Bakura's face fell.

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"Yes."

"No, no, NO, a thousand times _NO_!"

"Com'on, Bakura, you know Ryou would be happy to have his yami back," Marik promised positively.

"Oh, so if your logic is right, that means you'd also be glad to have _your_ yami live with _you_?" Bakura challenged daringly.

Marik sighed, "Point taken." But, he persisted, "I'm not Ryou though-"

"Thank Ra for that," Bakura muttered under his breath.

Marik gave him a stern look, then resumed, "- But, Ryou would openly invite you to stay with him."

"Where's my say in this?" Bakura whined.

Marik suddenly grew a wide grin and said, "Tell you what, I'll make you a deal."

Bakura's ears perked up, and he alerted, "I'm listening, so this better be good."

"Oh, it is," Marik confirmed as he explained, "All right. If you don't cause any trouble, you can stay here and I won't call Ryou."

"Define 'trouble'," was Bakura's reply.

Marik laughed, "Just try not to get yourself arrested, throw us into bankruptcy, or set fire to the tomb."

Bakura pouted, "Well, you're no fun."

Marik held up three fingers, stating, "Three strikes. You get three strikes, Bakura. As soon as your chances are up, I'm shipping you off to Ryou's."

That was enough of a threat to make Bakura cancel and consider postponing some of his devious plans.

Marik stood up and put out his hand and said, "Shake my hand to prove that we have a deal."

The spirit glanced down at Marik's tan hand distastefully. He shook his head, whipping his white hair to the side and argued, "I don't want to shake your hand."

"Why not?" Marik inquired.

The truth was, Bakura didn't ever agree. To _anything_. Agreeing meant he was liable to things, and Bakura didn't want to be. _Ever_. He lied, "I might catch your Egyptian Pansy disease."

Marik groaned and insisted, "If you don't shake my hand, I'll go write up a contract."

Bakura winced. Contracts were even worse. And, he was pretty sure Marik wasn't kidding when he said he'd go make one.

"Fine," Bakura growled, grabbing Marik's hand and shaking it up and down for moment before returning it to his side where he wiped the 'Egyptian Pansy' germs off on his blanket.

Marik shook his head and walked out of the room, calling behind him, "'Night, 'Kura."

"Uh-huh," Bakura responded, rolling onto his side.

Outside the room, Marik found himself being pulled around the corner by his sister, Ishizu, asking frantically, "Why did you say he could stay here, Marik?"

He smiled which caught Ishizu off guard as he answered, "Two reasons, sister. One, Bakura's my friend. But, the second and more important one is that Bakura is evil and psychotic. He's also a five thousand year old spirit. He won't survive the rest of the week by my calculations and our deal of him being out after three strikes."

"But, don't you worry about him destroying our home in the process of this little deal?" Ishizu's strained voice asked.

Marik glanced into the bedroom Bakura stayed in, the yami now quietly snoring, and told his sister, "Not really. Besides, how much damage can one Kitty do?"

_Author's Note: More than you think, Marik… Fun starts next chapter! Review please!_


	2. Chapter II: Midnight Raid

_Author's Note: Back by popular demand._

Chapter II: Midnight Raid

Bakura was annoyed.

The yami had woken up after some sleep which was actually refreshing. But, that wasn't why he was annoyed.

See, normally, Yami Bakura didn't mind the dark. Actually, he welcomed it. But, at that moment, it was the cause of his annoyance.

Because, Bakura needed some meat. He was going to die if he didn't get some lovely, lovely meat.

But, he wasn't able to sneak out and find some if the damn Ishtars were up. They'd send him back to his room and bring him some healthy fruit. He shuddered at the thought. Bloody tarts, he'd kill them all.

Bakura's stomach was beginning to sound like a thunderstorm. He couldn't take it anymore. Whatever the risk, he had. To. Find. Some. Meat.

Bakura sprung from his bed and tiptoed down the hall. He peered into the bedrooms along the way, seeing, to his satisfaction, that the tombkeepers were, in fact, asleep.

With little effort needed, Bakura discovered the kitchen and began ransacking all the cupboards. Usually, he would make an effort to be quiet while doing this, but a combination of hunger and knowledge that Marik was a heavy sleeper made his scavenging sound like a pack of wild dogs hunting down a gazelle.

Nothing. Bakura couldn't find even one scrap of meat. It was just his luck to be taken in by vegans.

It was time for a little thieving. And, 'thief' was Bakura's middle, first, and last name.

The yami found his way through the tombs to the exit. It was no longer locked because Marik's father was gone, making it much easier to sneak out. He opened the large, wooden door and discovered that it was still dark outside. The storm had passed, leaving the Egyptian sand saturated and an lingering, eerie quiet in the desert.

But, Bakura didn't have much time to take in the midnight air, because suddenly the galloping of several horses reached his ears. He ducked into the ruins.

The galloping stopped, and the murmuring of several voices entered the darkness.

Bakura leaned to the ground and placed his ear on the stone, straining to hear what the voices were saying.

"... These tombs are creeping me out," someone whined.

Bakura scoffed.

Another person replied, "There's nothing here. Let's just have a snack and keep going."

Snack? What kind of snack? Bakura thought, I hope it's not more damned fruit...

He let his night-vision kick in and peered over the ruins, seeing that three men had dismounted their horses and were sitting on lone rocks in a circle. Then, they began to take out something that made Bakura's mouth water.

Beef jerky.

Bakura had to restrain himself from pouncing on the meat like some psychotic puppy. He needed a plan. A good plan, too. It was three on one.

He continued to listen and heard the whinny man say, "But, guys, I've heard horrible stories of ghosts in these ruins. Spirits that linger after their death, feeding on strangers to their land."

The man who hadn't spoke yet said bluntly, "Those stories are for dumb bastards. Don't even consider something so stupid."

"Maybe," the second traveler warned, "But, my motto is 'you can never be too careful'."

Bakura smirked menacingly. This would be easier than he thought. He slipped back into the Ishtar's tomb for some... supplies.

-transition-

_Snap._

"Did you hear that?" the fearful one of travelers asked, making the rest of the trio strain to hear what he had supposedly heard.

_Crack._

"There it is again!" the man exclaimed, bordering on hysteria.

Bakura stifled his demonic cackles while he hid behind a stone ruin and snapped some large twigs.

The skeptical one admonished, "You're crazy, man. You must be getting Midnight Sun Madness."

"No," the last one confirmed, "I hear it, too. Listen."

_Crack. Snap. Crack._

Before any of them could speak, Bakura jumped out from behind the ruins, completely white. He was already white enough to be considered a ghost, but just to make sure that he got his beef jerky, he covered his clothes in a layer of flour.

"INCOMPETENT MORTALS!" Bakura screeched in his best ghost voice, "HOW DARE YOU STUMBLE INTO MY RESTING PLACE! I WILL TORTCH YOUR SOULS IN THE FIRE OF ETERNAL DAMNATION!"

The men had all grouped together and were hugging themselves, cowering in fear before the spirit. Bakura scowled. He had hoped they would have just run immediately, but no, they were too stupid.

He thought a moment before continuing to monologue, "BEFORE I SEND YOU ALL INTO THE SOUL-EATING SHADOWS, DO YOU WISH TO BEG FOR MERCY?"

"Yes- yes!" the only sensible man in the group stuttered, "Please spare us! Who- who are you?"

Bakura grew an impish smirk and stated, "I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE ANCIENT THIEF KING." Technically, he wasn't lying.

"I've-I've heard of the legendary Thief King!" the frightened one exclaimed.

Bakura continued grinning mercilessly and inquired "OH, SO YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME? THEN, YOU MUST KNOW OF ALL THE HORRIBLE ACTS OF REVENGE I'VE COMMITTED?"

The men answered him with silence, shaking with expressions of pure terror.

"GOOD. THEN, I DON'T HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF." Bakura leaned in and explained as quietly as he could while maintain his ghostly tone, "THERE IS ONE THING YOU COULD GIVE ME THAT WOULD ALLOW YOUR SOULS TO BE SPARED. DO YOU WISH TO KNOW WHAT IT IS?"

Though the men didn't reply, they nodded their heads frantically.

Bakura leaned a little closer and whispered with a completely straight face, "BEEF JERKY."

The middle traveler began to question, "What would a spirit want with-"

"LOOK, DO YOU WANT YOUR DAMNED SOULS TO BE SPARED OR NOT?" Bakura asked, backing away once again.

Once again, the men nodded with vigor.

The blunt man stated, "We have beef jerky..."

"YOU DO?" Bakura pretended to be surprised, "THEN, YOUR SOULS STILL MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE! WHERE IS IT?"

The man took the bag of jerky off the ground next to him and handed it to the spirit with a shaking hand.

Bakura pretended to examine the bag as if he was mulling over if the jerky was a good payment for the safety of their souls.

Finally, he looked up at the fearful travelers and clarified, "YOUR SOULS WILL BE SPARED IF YOU DO JUST ONE MORE THING FOR ME."

"Anything," they all answered simultaneously.

Bakura commanded, "GET ON YOUR HORSES."

The men did so.

Bakura smiled and exclaimed "HAPPY TRAILS!" before slapping the horses, frightening them into going full gallop and taking the gullible travelers deep into the vastness of the Valley of the Kings.

Once they were past the horizon and out of his sight, Bakura finally got to cackle like a hyena and enjoy the fruits of his labor. And by fruits, he meant meat.

Bakura put his back against some ruins and wiped the flour off his hands. Opening the bag, Bakura swallowed a fair share of beef jerky in one gulp, finally content.

After he had finished his jerky, the yami found that the travelers had left him more than just jerky. He discovered some bags and counted up his new prizes. None of it was as profitable as the meat, but Bakura did manage to acquire a nice, new hat, which he wore proudly as a trophy.

Content with his winnings, the spirit leaned up against a rock, crossing his arms and placing the hat on his face, deciding to take a nap after all his efforts.

Finally, the vast desert peace returned to the landscape and Bakura fell into his favorite kind of sleep, one without dreams.

-transition-

Bakura felt a nudge on his side. He chose to ignore it. This time, the nudge was harder. Bakura couldn't ignore it.

The yami lifted the hat off his face with his thumb until it lying lazily on his head and opened his eyes, seeing himself surrounded by several tough-looking men.

"Howdy, boys," Bakura greeted casually. He looked around at the faces of the men and decided they weren't happy. Then, he looked up and saw that the sun was just bleeding into the morning sky. He added, "Good morning."

One of the men questioned, "You're not the spirit of the Thief King, are you?"

Bakura recognized this man as the scared one of the group he had tricked the night before and said mockingly, "Nice to see you again."

"You didn't answer my question," the man stated.

Bakura shrugged, seeing no point in lying and said, "Yes, I am the spirit of the Thief King."

One of the unrecognizable men said, "Sir, you can drop your act. We are taking you in for questioning."

Bakura wanted to know just who this guy thought he was and let his eyes wander, seeing a shiny police badge on his chest.

Law enforcement? Damn...

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bakura blurted out quickly.

Another police officer stepped forward and interrogated, "Is it true that you stole these traveler's personal property?"

Now, he was in trouble. Bakura needed to find a way out of this. If he didn't, not only would he get his first strike in Marik's game, he'd most likely go to prison as well.

Suddenly, Bakura received an idea.

He once heard Marik joke that if Bakura ever got caught by the law, he could easily escape being arrested if he let his inner psycho come out. It was just crazy enough to work...

"MY JELLY FILLED DOUGHNUTS HAVE KETCHUP IN THEM!"

The men exchanged looks. Was this teenage boy insane?

"MY PET CHICKEN, CLUCKY WILL FEED ON YOUR CORPSE!"

Again, the men wondered.

One of the policemen whispered to the travelers, "Was he acting like this when he stole your things?"

"Uh, ya, kind of," they admitted.

The police officer nodded and replied quietly, "I think it'd be best to find this kid's family and let them deal with him."

"THE DARK LORD ZORC WILL COME AND DESTROY YOU ALL!"

"I agree," a traveler concluded.

They turned back to face Bakura, and one of the police officers inquired, "Where does your family live, kid?"

"I WILL ONLY BE ADDRESSED AS MASTER OF DARKNESS!"

"Uh, okay, where does your family live, Master of Darkness?"

This was fun for a while, but now Bakura had to tell them where he lived.

Which meant, he only had one choice.

Bakura merely pointed to the tomb entrance across the ruins.

"You're a tombkeeper?"

Bakura shook his head up and down enthusiastically.

"That explains a lot," a traveler commented, "I've heard those tombkeepers spend their entire lives underground. I bet he's not the only kid to go insane down there."

Bakura had to hide a smirk.

"Okay, uh, Master of Darkness," the police officers picked him up off the ground and lead him over to the tomb entrance, "Let's get you back home."

Bakura let himself be dragged over to the tomb door. The men knocked on entrance loudly.

After a few moments, the cellar-like doors swung open, and Ishizu walked up. Immediately, she turned back and called, "Marik! Your Kitty got into trouble!"

Bakura inwardly groaned. Damn it all, that nickname was sticking...

Ishizu turned back and disappeared into the tomb. Moments later, Marik took her place.

He glanced over Bakura and sighed. Turning to the police officers constricting him, Marik said, "Thank you very much, officers, for finding my lost Kitty. I was about to put up lost posters."

Bakura growled. He was the punch line of a cruel joke. And, he thought _he_ was the master of cruelty.

Before the men could comment on this, Marik reached out and took Bakura's arm and dragged him in, saying, "Let's go, Kitty, and I'll find you some lovely yarn to play with."

Before the tomb entrance door closed, Bakura faintly heard one of the men mutter, "Mental tombkeepers..."

That would have made everything worth it to Bakura, but Marik had to go and ruin his one shining moment by mumbling "Strike one, 'Kura, strike one."

_Author's Note: Bakura Strike Count: 1_

_Review? *puppy-dog eyes*_


	3. Chapter III: The Internet

_Author's Note: Thanks for all the love so far! *hugs*_

KD Chapter III: The Internet

Now, Bakura was bored. Marik had forbidden him to go outside, and he was getting (what his hakari would probably describe as) "antsy".

Bakura and Marik sat in the tomb's study. Marik was diligent at work while Bakura was lying upside-down on a couch, counting the cracks in the ruin's ceiling.

"There's nothing to do..." Bakura complained to himself more than Marik whom was busy writing something or another.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" Marik retorted, turning a page in a book.

The yami commanded, "Be entertaining!"

Marik told him without looking up, "I'm busy."

He challenged, "You're just making excuses because you _can't_be entertaining."

"Why don't you entertain yourself?" the Egyptian boy suggested.

Bakura popped his gum and asked, "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

Marik sighed and said, "Figure something out."

The spirit groaned and stood up, making his way over to Marik. He leaned over the tombkeeper's work and found none of it entertaining. Feeling devious (but when wasn't he?), Bakura snatched one of Marik's papers and held it up, saying, "I think I'll keep this."

"Give it back!" Marik ordered, trying to snatch it from the thief's hands. But, Bakura was taller than Marik and easily kept it out of his reach.

"No way, Pansy," Bakura smirked. This was _highly_entertaining...

After a few more attempts of trying to retrieve his paper, Marik grew tired and bartered, "If I give you something entertaining, will you give me back my paper?"

Bakura mulled this over and decided he had little to lose. "Deal," he stated, tossing the paper into the tombkeeper's eager hands.

Marik placed the page down on his desk and rummaged through some drawers, looking for the thing he promised would entertain the restless yami.

"_It better not be a book_," Bakura muttered, crossing his arms.

But, what Marik pulled out truly surprised Bakura.

It was a laptop.

"When did _you _get Internet?" Bakura cried in shock, picking up the laptop and cradling it in his pale arms.

Marik smiled thoughtfully and reported, "A few years back, but we rarely use it." The dark-skinned boy leaned closer and said in a much more serious tone, "Now, listen up, Kitty. You can barrow this laptop. But, I want it back," he counted off his fingers, "In one piece, unscathed, and not incredibly slow because of the massive amount of things you may download."

Bakura nodded fiercely, just wanting to get his thieving hands on the Internet.

"Okay," Marik sighed as he sat back down to continue his work, "Go entertain yourself."

Bakura didn't need to be told twice. He dashed out of the room, the laptop in his sinister clutches.

A 5000 year old evil spirit had been released onto the Internet world. Oh, Marik, why had you forsaken thee?

-transition-

Bakura, being incredibly technologically un-savvy, had trouble even turning the laptop on. Ishizu helped though, teaching the spirit the little bit of computer knowledge she knew. After that, Bakura was released onto the Internet. Oh, the fun the yami had planned...

He started by creating Facebook accounts for old celebrities and posting all kinds of crazy things about them, making sure to stress that they were being held in an asylum and that they were madly in love with their dog.

After that, Bakura registered for a few free subscriptions by using Marik's name and email address. He was sure he'd enjoy sorting through all the spam and activating all the deadly viruses.

Next, via the search engine, Bakura found Seto Kaiba's phone number and prank called him a few times, pretending to be Maximillion Pegasus inviting him to come to Duelist Kingdom in order to help him find his missing bunny, Fluffers.

He also ordered two hundred extra-large pepperoni pizzas to be delivered to the Pharaoh's host's house.

He added infiltrating the Wikipedia page of the Millennium Items and rewrote it, not forgetting to stress that all the items belonged to the devious, legendary, and very handsome Thief King.

Finally, Bakura ran out of ideas. With nothing to do, he walked through the tomb to go get a snack.

Upon entering the kitchen, Bakura (not finding any meat) took a soda and began to walk back to his room.

But, something caught his eye.

There, completely unprotected, just sitting on the table, was a shiny, brand-new credit card.

Bakura had to have it.

He zipped to the table and grasped the piece of plastic in his hands, feeling the power radiating from it.

Bakura had heard of credit cards. He didn't live under a rock... Okay, bad example. But, the point was taken that the spirit new a thing or two about the amazing freedom and power that came when someone acquired such an item.

He needed to use it.

Dashing to his room, Bakura threw open the laptop and began violently searching the Internet for places to buy things.  
><em><br>What is this?_ Bakura thought as he looked at one of the listing sites.  
><em><br>eBay?_

He'd never heard of such a thing. What was a bay and how did it e?

Bakura shook his head and clicked the site, finding a description of it. Apparently, it was like some kind of modern, technological version of a bazaar, a market where you barter. People put stuff up for sale and you could offer up a good price. If they accepted it, you put in your credit card number and bam, you had it.

Credit card number...

Bakura lifted the credit card off the desk where he had hastily dropped it and tilted it towards the light. Sure enough, several numbers were lined up on the card. It was like a secret code to get free stuff!

_What idiots!_ Bakura thought as he searched eBay, _These people are practically giving things away because they take these fancy credit cards!_

The thief demonically laughed and began purchasing several things he didn't need and would probably never use. But, it was free, right?

Bakura felt as if this credit card was the answer to all of life's problems. How fortunate he was to have found such a treasure lying around and-

"Bakura?"

Said person jumped at his name and turned to see Marik. Bakura growled, "What do you want?" upset that Marik had cut into his joyful discovery.

"I just wanted to check on you and see how you're doing," Marik alerted, slightly intrigued that Bakura didn't seem at all interested in anything but the laptop in front of him. He added, "By the way, what are you doing? You've been awfully quiet."

Bakura immediately slapped down the laptop screen and snapped, "None of your business!" He was not about to have Marik ruin one of the more pleasurable experiences he had had in the present. They were rare and delicate, making Bakura protective over his moments.

"Com'on..." Marik sang, "... Let me see." He shifted closer to Bakura.

"Get away from me, Creampuff," Bakura ordered, hugging the laptop to his chest, ready to bolt.

Marik lifted an eyebrow at this and observed, "You look suspicious..."

"When don't I?" Bakura countered, edging closer to the door.

Deciding that he didn't want to get on Bakura's hit list, Marik shrugged and said, "Okay. You can keep whatever you're hiding a secret. But, just know this," he turned towards the door and narrowed his eyes at Bakura from over his shoulder, finishing, "I'm watching you."

He backed out of the room.

"_Mental tombkeepers_," Bakura muttered the nickname he'd adopted for his new "family".

-transition-

Ishizu ran into the study, panting hard.

"What is it, sister?" Marik inquired, standing up from his desk.

Ishizu caught her breath after a few moments and was able to exclaim, "Our credit card! It's missing!"

"Are you sure?" Marik asked, "Where did you last leave it?"

The Egyptian girl walked through, "Well, I was using the card to purchase some new things for cooking, so I brought it with me into the kitchen to write a list of what I needed to buy... I most likely left it on the kitchen table, but I already checked there!"

"Well, maybe Odion found it," Marik suggested with a shrug, "Let's go ask him before we jump to any rash conclusions."

Ishizu nodded and followed Marik out of the room on his tail.

-transition-

"Sorry, Master Marik, Ishizu, I haven't seen the credit card," Odion replied to their frantic questions truthfully.

Marik tapped his finger on his chin and contemplated this. He thought aloud, "Well, obviously, nobody came into the tomb and took our card..."

Ishizu finished, "- So, that only leaves one suspect..."

The three Ishtar family members all looked up at the same time and named, "Bakura!" simultaneously, spitting it out as if it were acid on their tongues.

They sprinted to the room they had given the yami and found him dead asleep, lying in a heap on his bed, his head resting atop the laptop.

"Let's search the room for the credit card," Marik told his sister and brother.

"Right," Ishizu and Odion agreed, beginning to look.

They checked drawers, under the bed, next to the sleeping spirit, everywhere, but they still could find no trace of the missing card.

"Maybe we wrongly accused Bakura..." Odion brought to the attention of his siblings.

"I doubt it," Ishizu looked over Bakura's sleeping figure suspiciously, reminding them, "He _is _the legendary Thief King..."

Marik sighed, "Well, we have no evidence, so let's go check the rest of the tomb before we drag Kitty out of his bed."

"Fine," Ishizu reluctantly agreed, following her brothers out of the room, not knowing that her credit card lied under Bakura's pillow where the experienced thief knew he could keep it safe even in his sleep.

_Author's Note: Had to stop there. Bakura Strike Count: Still 1. For now..._

Review please!


	4. Chapter IV: Misc Buys and More Bets

KD Chapter IV: Miscellaneous Buys and More Bets

No, this couldn't be right... I had to be... A mistake! Yes! A mistake! But, no, his name was printed on it clearly. An April Fools joke, perhaps? No. That had past. Then, that only left one explanation and one suspect...

"_BAKURA_!"

Said person rose from his nap, his pure white hair lying on his head in a tangled mess.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bakura snarled, looking as if he might just kill Marik if he took even one step nearer.

Marik ignored his desire to back out of the room and run, screaming bloody-murder because of Bakura's death stare. Instead, he held a piece of paper in front of the yami's face and commanded sternly, "Explain for this."

Bakura clenched his teeth, wanting so badly to hurt the hakari and scare him into never waking him up again. But, no, that would go against their "deal". Restraining his urges, Bakura tried to skim over the paper and then stated, "Fruitcake, you know I can't read whatever gibberish this is in, right?"

Marik sighed and pulled the paper from in front of Bakura's face and held it tightly in his tan fingers, explaining, "It's a bill. For all the stuff you supposedly bought."

The spirit shrugged nonchalantly.

Marik interrogated straightforwardly, "Did you _happen_ to find something by the name of a credit card, 'Kura?"

"What's it to you?" Bakura asked, not admitting to anything.

"So, you did," Marik translated. He held out his hand and ordered, "Give it here."

Bakura groaned. There was no way out. Plus, if he gave it over quickly, maybe Marik wouldn't count it as a strike… After all, Bakura didn't do anything wrong besides take it.

The thief pulled the card from his pocket and dropped it in the tombkeeper's hand.

Marik held up the card and inquired, "Do you know how this works?"

Bakura thought a moment. Truthfully, he didn't. He had just guessed how to use it. It's not like it came with directions. But, not wanting to admit his ignorance of the subject, he merely shrugged.

Sighing once more, Marik explained, "One uses a credit card for money. It's an effective way to have resources at your fingertips, able to buy anything anywhere." He leaned closer and whispered, "Like on the Internet, eh, Kitty?"

"Kitty" pouted and crossed his arms while he waited for Marik to finish explaining.

Marik cleared his throat and specified angrily, "When you use a credit card, you don't have to pay right away. But, you have to pay after. When you get the credit card bill."

Bakura's eyes widened. He stuttered, "You- you mean, you have to pay for the stuff you get with a credit card?"

Marik growled. "And more. Because, there's convenience fee for it. And, if we don't pay every cent we spend, we go into debt and become bankrupt."

All the big words confused Bakura, but he didn't have to reply.

Marik held up the paper and said, "Let's see what you bought, shall we?"

Bakura swallowed dryly.

"Hmmm... First thing you bought is a human hamster ball."

"I wanted to know what it was like to be a hamster..."

"Next, a fifty gallon fish tank and a brand-new fish rod to go with it."

"I could go fishing in the tank. Sounds like fun, right?"

Marik glared before continuing, "A golf cart."

"Golf carts are cool."

"A glass chess board?" Marik exclaimed, "Do you even play chess?"

"No, but somebody might."

"A duel disk. Well, that actually makes some sense..."

"Ya, my last one was _stolen_ from me by the damn Pharaoh…"

"_Confiscated_," Marik corrected.

Bakura stuck his tongue out at the tombkeeper immaturely.

Marik resumed listing Bakura's purchases, saying, "A... Cat? You bought a kitten?"

"Secretly, I'm very lonely..."

Marik tried to conceal his smirk, but it came out and Bakura flicked Marik's arm.

Marik listed, "A copy of the painting 'Starry Night'?"

"The real one's not for sale apparently..."

"A popcorn maker."

"For movie night."

"The deed to a condo in Maui... I thought you were kidding!"

"I don't kid," Bakura answered, scowling.

"A bow and arrow?"

"Gotta target practice somehow. Got wanna get out of shape."

"A pair of hand-cuffs...?"

"... I rather not explain that one."

Marik shunned the disturbing mental pictures entering his mind and stated, "Snow cone machine."

"Who doesn't like a good snow cone?"

"And, to top it all off, some prime steaks."

"Yes. Can't live without my meat."

"Well," Marik glanced over the entire listed once more, reflecting, "That's about it." He rolled up the bill and tapped it on Bakura's head teasingly, saying, "I'm afraid this counts as another strike, 'Kura."

"_What?" _Bakura cried, standing up and swiping the paper from the Egyptian boy's hand, arguing, "But I didn't even know! It's not like you taught me about these demon credit cards!"

"You obviously knew enough about them to _use _them," Marik countered.

Bakura opposed, "Of course I did! All the freaking information is right on the card! I mean, seriously, if I was some kind of identity thief, I'd already own a house and car by now!"

"_Those are the only things you _didn't _buy…_" Marik muttered under his breath.

"Pretty much," Bakura shrugged, then found his anger again and questioned crossly, "Since it was an accident, why is it considered a strike?"

Marik snatched the bill back and pointed at the number at the bottom, explaining more furiously than Bakura was, "Because, you owe my family _five-thousand dollars_!"

The yami felt like fainting.

"_Fi- five thousand_?" Bakura stumbled to repeat, hardly over a whisper.

Marik nodded.

Bakura thought a moment then asked, "Can I still keep the stuff?"

"Ugh! You're impossible, Kitty!" Marik facepalmed.

Bakura acquired a smirk from this. He stated, "Damn right. And, don't you forget it."

Marik let out a sigh, trying to keep himself from going insane. He answered Bakura's previous question, saying, "We're going to try to return all we can. That should lower your bill quite a lot. But, the stuff we can't return, you'll have to pay for."

"Okay," Bakura decided to let it go, let his problems take care of themselves.

Marik was going to do the same. He guessed there was no point on dwelling on it… Right?

But, before he walked out of Bakura's room, he smiled and turned back to the spirit, musing aloud, "Wow, 'Kura, you've got two strikes already. And, how long has it been? A few days? I was kind of hoping that you'd last the week or maybe two, but no, it wasn't meant to be…"

Bakura's eye twitched.

Marik enjoyed this and continued, "Hmm… Poor Kitty… Gonna be shipped off to Ryou's already? That is so hard. I would have thought that the legendary Thief King would have _at least_ lasted the rest of the week. But, the way I see it, you won't even last until the end of the day."

"_Wanna bet_?" Bakura exclaimed, provoked beyond repair.

"Sure," Marik replied easily, making Bakura realize he had just played into the tombkeeper's hand. He hummed and promised, "All right, if you last the rest of the week without getting your last strike, I'll give you an extra one. But, if you don't, you have to keep that cat you bought on eBay."

Bakura hissed, "I don't want a cat!"

"You bought it!" Marik countered.

The thief couldn't argue there.

"Fine," Bakura huffed, throwing himself onto his bed and throwing the sheet over his head, signifying that he wanted to be alone.

Marik nodded though Bakura couldn't see through his blankets. Nope, Bakura wouldn't last the week. He was sure of it. The only question was:

What kind of destruction would Bakura cause that would get him his last strike?

_Author's Note: I already have the next chapter written. Should be up tomorrow. Please review! The reviews have all been awesome so far and I love you, guys! :)_


	5. Chapter V: Fiery Passion

_Author's Note: Wow, I've never cursed so much in a FanFic… But, Bakura brings out the worst in people… XD_

_Bakura: I resent that!_

_Anyways, here you go!_

KD Chapter V: Fiery Passion

Bakura groaned. It was _almost _the end of the week. He was going to make it! He was so close! But, so close was also so far away.

The spirit banged his fists against the kitchen table where Marik peaceful surfed the Internet and commanded the Egyptian boy's attention, complaining, "There's nothing to do!"

Marik didn't even look up from his computer screen. He simply reached out to his drink and steadied the glass of lemonade Bakura shook. He began to suggest, "Well, we could always-"

"For the last time, Creampuff, I'm not into that kind of stuff," Bakura shot down, shivering from the assumption of what he thought Marik was thinking.

The tombkeeper rolled his cloudy blue eyes and picked up, "-That's not what I was going to recommend."

"_Liar," _Bakura coughed.

Marik glared at the albino before continuing, "How about you go for a nice walk? It's really beautiful today."

"I thought you said I wasn't allowed outside," Bakura countered, crossing his arms with a skeptical look.

Marik shrugged, admitting, "There's honestly nothing out there. Your first strike was just an unlucky occurrence of events. We seriously never get visitors. It's pretty safe to say you won't find anything up there. It's just desert."

"Then, what's the point of going?" Bakura inquired, an uninterested expression on his face. He absolutely _loathed _exercise. And, yes, he counted walking as exercise.

"'Cause, if you don't, you'll just be stuck down here with nothing to do," Marik informed him.

Bakura contemplated this for a moment. He tried, "Any chance you'll let me use the Inter-"

"No."

Bakura huffed, "Fine." He removed himself from Marik's presence and stormed out of the crypt, slamming the tomb entrance doors closed behind him.

The thief had to acknowledge, that after nearly a week of not being outside, the sun's rays on his fair skin felt quite good. He wandered around in the area, kicking up sand with his feet. It was blistering hot. And, the heat was intensifying with every step he took.

Becoming tired, Bakura sunk down against a rock and rested. He swiped his hand over his forehead, whipping some fresh sweat off his brows. It was already soaking his light hair and making Bakura's bangs stick to his face as if they were saturated with glue. The yami grunted with annoyance at this. But, he suddenly recalled a trick to solving this problem when lost in the desert thousands of years ago. He began to take up some sand to dry out his skin.

But, as Bakura began to dig, his ghostly white fingers hit something cool and metal. Curiosity piqued, he continued to free the object from its sandy prison.

Finally, it was revealed.

"Millennium Ring!" Bakura exclaimed with pure joy that was rare for him. He hugged the Millennium Item to his chest as if it were an old friend, cheering, "You're back!" He'd thought he had lost it forever. That damn Pharaoh had made them disappear after he retreated into the afterlife. But the Millennium Items were sneaky and persistent. And apparently they had a sense of humor, giving the ring back to the notorious Thief King.

Bakura began to laugh. It was deep and maniacal, sounding as if it came from a psychotic, evil demon. Probably because it did…

The spirit had recovered his power. The Pharaoh hadn't seen the last of him. No, now plans were swirling in his twisted little mind. Plans of unspeakable horror. They were brilliant and unstoppable.

That is, they would be if the Millennium Ring still worked…

_That's right! _Bakura thought, _Who knows what kind of curses the bloody Pharaoh brought down on my precious items? How do I know that they still possess the power that I need? _He didn't know, and that meant he had to find out.

He needed to test it.

_But not here, _Bakura reminded himself, glancing over the vast desert. No, he couldn't test the power of a Millennium Item in the open. His location was several, _several _miles from any form of civilization, but Bakura wasn't taking any chances. Marik would _never _forgive him if he let shadow monsters loose on society. Even though he only had one strike left, Bakura figured Marik would deem the release of shadow creatures as two.

Bakura decided it would be best to test the ring's power in the room Marik had let him stay in.

Now to sneak past the Ishtars…

Bakura strung the Millennium Ring around his neck and tucked it under his striped shirt. _Just like the old days… _he mused with an unnerving smirk.

Opening the tomb entrance, the spirit skipped down the stairs merrily. Everything seemed just a little bit brighter (or should he say darker?) when he was in the possession of his Millennium Item.

"Hey, 'Kura," Marik rang out, walking up to Bakura with an innocent smile caressing his lips. He perceived, "You seem like you're in a much better mood."

Bakura matched the tombkeeper's smile, but his was much more sinister. He confirmed, "Yep. You were exactly right, Marik. A good walk is _exactly _what I needed." He silently thanked the spirits that lying came so easily to him.

_He actually called me by my real name? _Marik observed, _He's up to something… But, I'll let him think I don't know. That should be much more fun… _Marik concealed a playful chuckle as he replied, "I'm glad to hear that." He gave a small wave and strolled off.

"_Sucker…" _Bakura hissed like a serpent and slithered off.

-transition-

The thief closed his door behind him and reached down his shirt, retrieving his ring.

"Come to daddy," Bakura purred, stroking the Millennium Item.

Immediately, the ring began to glow an eerie white.

"Yes… Yes…" Bakura coaxed it and commanded, "Give me the power I deserve!"

Suddenly, the glowing ceased and fire spilled from the mystical object onto the floor, setting the room ablaze. The item's rope snapped and let itself fall into the flames.

"No!" Bakura cried, "This can't be! The shadow powers have rejected me!"

The item retreated back into the Egyptian sands, permanently this time. It had decided that Bakura was no longer a worthy item barer. It resided back into the soil to stay dormant until another day.

But, that left Bakura's room on fire.

The spirit fiercely uttered every curse word known to man and decided that the best short-term plan was to get the hell out of the room before he burnt to a crisp.

He shut the door behind him and leaned against its exterior, staring at the floor with defeat. Marik was going to _kill _him.

"Hello, again, Kitty."

Bakura jumped and moved his head up, seeing that Marik had magically appeared in front of him as if the spirit had summoned him.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Bakura asked, detecting an almost mocking spark dwelling in the Egyptian boy's eyes.

Marik didn't answer the yami's question purposely and asked one of his own; "What's behind your back, Kitty?"

"A door," Bakura answered plainly, self-consciously knowing that he was already doomed.

Marik's grin only widened as he pondered aloud, "Oh really… That all?"

Bakura nodded shakily.

"Hmm," Marik hummed and took hold of the doorknob and turned it, opening the door.

_Damn these people for not making their doors open the other way, _Bakura cursed.

Marik's jaw dropped.

"You- you-" was all he could stutter, "How- how did you _do _this?"

"I _might_ have found the Millennium Ring out on my walk," Bakura answered Marik's rhetorical question and added sardonically, "But, that's just a guess."

Marik cocked his blonde head to the side and called, "Ishizu! Odion!"

The two older siblings came running.

Ishizu interrogated frantically, "What is it, Marik?"

Marik simply pointed into Bakura's room that was being engulfed by flames.

The tombkeepers gasped.

They quickly ran back to the kitchen and retrieved a fire extinguisher. Quickly, they brought down the flames. When it was all put out, nothing remained.

Marik walked through the ashes and into the room in a dead silence. Bakura followed at a slow gait, trying to catch a glimpse of his face to try and guess how angry he was. But, a shadow covered the Egyptian's face, revealing no hint of his thoughts.

"Could've been worse," Bakura commented, his tone deceiving that he was more sarcastic than positive. He declared to himself that he had absolutely nothing to lose and inquired, "So… Where do I sleep now?"

Marik glanced up at the spirit from behind eyes of pure, passionate frustration. Bakura had never seen him so furious. In fact, in the dim light, the pansy almost looked like him yami.

"That's it, Kitty," Marik said through gritted teeth, "That was your third strike. And, you know what they say…" He waited for Bakura to pick up the rest of the saying.

"… Sorry to disappoint you, Kid, but I don't know the rest. Remember? I know next to nothing about this time," Bakura dared to point out as he shrugged offhandedly.

Marik looked the thief straight in the eye and shouted, "Three strikes and you're out!"

_Author's Note: Aww… Poor Bakura. Off to Ryou's. We'll see how that goes soon. I plan on getting the next chapter up by next week. But, if I get enough reviews, I may update sooner… *hint hint* _

_Review?... Pwease? *cheesy smile*_


	6. Chapter VI: New Start

KD Chapter VI: New Start

It was official; Bakura hated airplanes.

If being two thousand bloody feet above the ground wasn't adequate, the annoying flight attendants were enough to make anyone nauseous.

-flashback-

"_Can I get you something to drink, ma'am?" a perky blonde asked Bakura as she walked down the aisle with a cart._

_Now, Bakura knew that his long, pure white hair looked somewhat effeminate, but honestly, anyone with a brain could tell Yami Bakura was male. Maybe this lady's brain wasn't functioning that day…_

"_First off, mortal," Bakura snarled, "I'm a man."_

_The woman realized her mistake as the spirit spoke and grew a lovely shade of crimson._

"_I- I apologize, sir," she stuttered. After a few seconds to collect herself, she questioned once more, "Would you like something to drink?"_

_Bakura received an idea and gained a frisky smile, stating, "I think I'll have a glass of your finest wine. As red as blood, please."_

_The woman nodded shakily and confirmed, "Coming right up. I'll just need to see your ID."_

"_ID?" Bakura repeated, the term foreign to him._

_The disgustingly upbeat woman nodded again and explained, "The card with your name on it? With your picture, name, and information? Could I see it?"_

_Bakura growled in annoyance. So, there was yet another magical card that was the key to the universe that he didn't possess? That was just fantastic…_

_The yami reached out and grasped the woman's uniform collar and brought her down to his level where he sat. He clarified in a fierce hiss, "Impudent human, I suggest you fetch me my alcoholic beverage before I cast your mortal soul into the shadows. Do you understand?"_

_Slowly, the woman bobbed her head._

"_Good," he approved, releasing her collar._

-flashback end-

Unfortunately, the head flight attendant learned of this and cut Bakura off before he could get sufficiently drunk.

The thief had wanted to forget this day. Forget how the damn Ishtars had literally pushed him onto the plane with a one-way ticket to Japan.

"_Meow."_

Oh ya, and Marik hadn't forgotten about their little bet. Now, the only thing belonging to Bakura besides the clothes on his back was a little, white kitten.

The yami looked down at the young cat in its carrier on his lap and scoffed at its large brown eyes.

"What are you looking at?" Bakura inquired the kitten.

It blinked at him and cocked its small head to the side as if to answer, _A loser._

"I am _not_ a loser, damn cat," Bakura responded to its subtlety, "I've just been going through some hard times… my whole life…"

The kitten licked its paw and began grooming its ghostly white fur.

"Ya, I know," Bakura replied to his new pet, leaning on his hand, "We're both a mess."

Bakura continued having a conversation with the cat the entire plane ride to Japan. Anyone passing thought that the teenager was just talking to himself. But, at least he wasn't threatening anyone's life like earlier…

Bakura's jaw dropped when he heard the loud speaker announce that they would soon be landing in Domino City. (And, not just because a voice was coming from the ceiling.)

But, Bakura learned something. A physco like him could really pass the time by talking to his cat. Maybe Marik's "present" would be more helpful than he thought.

"Now landed in Domino City, known for its beautiful pier and the home of the main headquarters of Kaiba Corporation."

Bakura smirked. Perhaps it'd be nice to be back after all…

The spirit picked up his pet carrier and pushed everyone aside, exiting the plane first.

"'Kura!"

Damn, he'd forgotten about-

Suddenly, Bakura was glomped by his hakari.

_Someone, kill me now, _he silently pleaded, stiff under Ryou's hug.

The other albino didn't seem to mind that his hug wasn't being returned and just squeezed him tighter, proclaiming, "It's so good to see you, yami!"

"Uh, you too?" Bakura mumbled hesitantly in the form of question instead of a statement like Ryou assumed it was.

Ryou finally released Bakura and said playfully, "Okay, times a-wastin'! Let's go home." He glanced around Bakura as if he was searching for some unknown object. Finally, he questioned, "Where are your belongings, Bakura? Are they still in baggage claim?"

"No," Bakura replied shortly, "I don't have any belongings. Well, except for-" He held up his cat carrier to let Ryou peek inside.

"Awww! 'Kura, that's so adorable! You got a kitten! What's his name?" Ryou inquired, poking his fingers in the cage door to stroke its soft fur.

"Kitty," Bakura answered.

Ryou's wide eyes narrowed, and he questioned, "What?"

"Kitty," Bakura repeated and clarified, "I named him Kitty." Ryou looked as if he was going to comment, but Bakura added quickly, "I'm not very creative." 

"Hmm," Ryou hummed, his hands resting on his sides as he mulled over, "Kitty and kitty… It fits."

Bakura hissed, "Who said you could call me Kitty?"

Ryou giggled and informed, "Marik. He's been emailing me ever since he found you."

Bakura muttered curses down upon a certain Egyptian pansy and took off in a random direction, gripping the cat carrier's handle harder. He mumbled behind him, "Com'on, Ryou, the longer we stay here, the greater probability these mortals get to sustaining serious injury."

"Comin', Kittys!" Ryou called behind him in plural on purpose, sprinting after his yami.

-transition-

Ryou's car was his father's. And his father's father's. And so on. Bakura _despised _the car. The car broke down twice on the way home. The spirit decided to make it his personal secret mission to get Ryou a new car _as soon as possible_.

Finally, the yami and his hakari made it to where they were going. But, it sure wasn't home.

"Ryou, what is this place?" Bakura questioned, staring ahead at the building in front of them. It wasn't Ryou's little townhouse Bakura was so used to. Instead, it was a large, apartment-like structure.

"Yeah…" Ryou trailed off, his tone hinting that he was guilty, "… About that…"

"What is it now?" Bakura snarled, rubbing his temple with his index finger, "I'm _really _not in the mood for bad news."

Ryou's wide eyes widened to their maximum length, looking irresistibly innocent. He mumbled, "Never mind then."

"Just tell me!" Bakura commanded, kicking the side of the car in a mix of rage and irritation.

Ryou nodded wildly with sensible fear but notified, "It's a long story."

Bakura leaned the passenger seat back, placed a hand over his eyes, and pointed up as if he was firing a gun off to start a race, ordering in a drained tone, "Begin."

"'Kay," Ryou started, "Well, being that you're going to live with me now, I had to cut down on expenses. So… I had to sell our house…"

"So, now where do we live?" Bakura asked, not taking his hand off his eyes.

Ryou swallowed before replying in a splutter, "Now we live… on campus… Domino High Campus…" he finished, "… as boarding students…"

Bakura's eyes snapped open, and he exclaimed, "_WHAT?"_

"Well… I can't leave you home when I go to school, knowing the damage you did at Marik's, so you're going to school, too… posing as my twin."

"_WHAT?"_

"I'm sorry, it was the only alternative!" Ryou hid his face in his hands, afraid to look his yami in the eyes.

It was a good thing, too, because Bakura was livid. He felt the overwhelming desire to send some people to the Shadow Realm growing inside of him. Through barely maintained rage, he asked as slowly and calmly as he could, "Why do I have to go to bloody school? You know I hate school!"

Ryou responded, his eyes cast down at the floor of the car, "I apologize, 'Kura. If there was another option, I would have taken it."

"When do we start?" Bakura interrogated fiercely, his right eye beginning to twitch.

"Monday," Ryou informed, twiddling his thumbs innocently, "That's when school starts again after summer break."

_My famous luck is at it again, _Bakura thought. He just _had _to move in at the _end _of a break.

Ryou's head perked up, and he explained, "I had Kaiba pull a few strings and make up some fake records for you, stating that you're my older twin brother and were at a special private school in Egypt."

"Just perfect," Bakura sarcastically quipped, opening the car door, saying, "Let's go in. _Now, _Ryou."

"Yes, Bakura!" Ryou answered obediently, tripping after his yami as he trotted into the building. He didn't want to anger him further, knowing Bakura's temper.

The boys rode a painfully slow elevator up to the third floor and found their dorm.

Ryou took out a key and opened their door, revealing a dark, grey area. There were two rooms, actually three if you counted a line in the middle a divider.

They walked into the first room, a damp kitchen with grimy tile. Past the kitchen counter was the bedroom, two twin beds facing opposite each other on either wall. They had light white sheets draped across the mattresses, but that was it. Off to the side was a bathroom (the only separate room), just providing the necessities and some mold.

The darkness made Bakura feel at home, and he easily walked in and dropped onto the bed on the right, mumbling into the mattress, "I could live with this."

But, Ryou walked down the path between the two beds to the only window and opened the blinds, leading the accursed light in as the hakari declared, "Ah, that's better."

Bakura gasped as if he had been underwater and raced to the window, shutting out the sunlight once again. He chastised, "Are you _trying _to kill me?"

Ryou sighed, "We're living together from now on, 'Kura, so you better get used to it."

Bakura groaned and fell onto his bed once again. At least Marik had lived in complete darkness. That had made life a whole lot more bearable…

"Well," Ryou invaded Bakura's thoughts with his own. He sat down on the opposite bed and continued, "It's Saturday, so we're gonna need to get some décor and supplies before school starts…" Ryou reached into his pocket and retrieved his pastel blue wallet. He walked over to Bakura, saying, "I really hate to do this, but I have no choice…" He dropped the wallet on Bakura's lap.

"What's this?" Bakura wondered aloud, picking up the wallet and sorting through it.

"The majority of my cash, my credit cards, and my license," Ryou reported.

Bakura's squinted eyes widened a little.

"Yeah, I'm surprised, too," Ryou whinnied, "But, I need to go pick up our textbooks and schedules." With lightning speed, the slightly smaller albino scribbled out a list and placed it in Bakura's hand, stressing, "Now, only buy the stuff on this list and nothing else." Ryou locked his gaze on Bakura, questioning, "Do you promise?"

Bakura had to bite his tongue to stop himself from retorting with something sardonic or cynical. This might the last chance he ever had to use a credit card. He was itching to get his hands on that power again. He had the impulse to cackle wildly at how naïve his hakari was. Marik had already made that mistake…

A smile must have escaped Bakura, because Ryou doubled it and teased, "Don't you think I don't know about you're itty-bitty adventure with a credit card at Marik's. He told me all about _that _little disaster. That is why I'm giving you a list and am making you stick to it. Okay?"

"Sure," Bakura replied easily, admiring the shiny cards in the wallet. Ryou put out his hand, and the thief whined, "Damn it, Ryou, are you gonna make me shake your hand, too?"

Ryou's light eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion, but he shook it off and held up one of his fingers, saying with a friendly smile, "No, silly, pinky swear!"

Bakura blinked.

"You're kidding me, right?"

""Com'on, 'Kura."

"No."

"'Kura-"

"No."

"Kitty-"

"FINE!"

He pinky-sweared his hakari with a disgusted expression.

Ryou nodded, content with this, and dropped his car keys in Bakura's hands, reminding, "Now, stick to the list, Kitty."

"Oh, that reminds me…" Bakura turned and found where he dropped the cat carrier on the counter. He sauntered over and unlocked the cage door, letting Kitty walk out of the enclosed space and into his new home.

Bakura stroked the cat once and thought aloud as he wrote on the list, "Cat bed and cat food…"

He stuffed the paper into his jacket's pocket and sprinted out the dorm, yelling behind him, "Don't leave the door or window open or Kitty might get out!"

"Okay!" Ryou called back, giggling to himself as he thought about how a little kitten and his yami had already bonded immensely.

The smaller albino glanced at Kitty and smiled, telling it, "You might just make Bakura a better person."

It meowed and jumped up on Bakura's bed, falling into a peaceful sleep as it waited for its master to return.

_Author's Note: Kitty becomes a major character. Plus, he's adorable. :3 _

_Review! Updates will come as the time permits! _


	7. Chapter VII: Preparations

_Author's Note: (replying to anonymous reviews)_

_DOOM: Thanks for making me lol. XD Glad you're loving this! It's totally fun to write! :)_

_Anyways, this is a filler chapter. School starts for Bakura next chapter. But, this is still a funny chapter. :) Don't you wonder what the results of Bakura vs. credit card, round two were? Well, wonder no longer!_

_Read and enjoy! _

KD Chapter VII: Preparations

"Honey, I'm home!" Bakura called into their new dorm playfully after several hours of shopping. He carried two large shopping bags in each hand.

"Took you long enough," Ryou commented teasingly, standing up and taking the bags from Bakura's hands and setting them on the kitchen counter. He began to sort through them and inspect Bakura's purchases, checking that his 'twin' had bought all the things Ryou requested and nothing more or less. The hakari was surprised to see that most of it was right. There was one questionable thing here or there, but nothing was major. "Wow, you pass," Ryou congratulated.

Bakura muttered, _"And, you doubted me..." _He dug into his pocket and pulled out a receipt, dropping it into Ryou's hand, reporting, "And, this lists all the furniture and bigger stuff I couldn't bring home. It's going to be delivered tomorrow."

"Excellent!" Ryou exclaimed and looked up at his yami, approving, "I give you five stars."

"Whoop-de-do," Bakura responded faintly, collapsing on one of the two tall chairs that lined the kitchen counter.

Ryou began putting supplies away but looked up suddenly as he received a small revelation and said, "Oh! I almost forgot to ask you for my car keys back." He held out his pale hand to collect his keys.

To his surprise, Bakura didn't fight this and smiled boldly, dropping some foreign keys into Ryou's hand.

"Bakura," he held up the keys for emphasis, "These aren't my keys."

"I know," Bakura grinned, adding with mock sweetness, "They're better."

Ryou dropped the keys onto the counter with a fearful expression. He cried, "What did you do to my car?"

Bakura pointed towards the window, stating, "See for yourself."

Ryou gulped nervously and tripped to the window, tilting back the blinds to glance below where his car was parked.

Or so he thought.

In its place, a bright red convertible Mustang sat, tricked out in every way possible.

"'KURA!"

"What?"

"Where's my car?"

"Parked out there."

"What happened?"

"I traded your old one in for this new one. You like?"

"How much did it cost?"

"Not much. Apparently your old one was so ancient, it was considered a classic. So, trading it in got me some money slashed off the new one. Aren't I the best?"

"What- How- Why-Take it back!" Ryou finished, his cheeks a tint of pink from fury.

"No can do," Bakura smirked at him as he quoted the car dealership, "'No refunds or exchanges'."

Ryou whimpered, "All the kids at school are gonna see it..."

"So, you'll be popular, Ryou," Bakura informed him.

"I don't want to be popular!" Ryou snapped back.

Bakura shrugged at this, saying, "You should really thank me, Ryou."

"_Thank you?"_

"You're welcome."

Ryou gave an exasperated sigh and gave up, deciding that the damage was done.

Then, he thought of an ingenious way to get reprisal on his yami.

"Oh, Bakura..." he sang.

"What is it now, hakari?"

Ryou skipped to his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper as he continued to sing, "I've got your schedule..."

Bakura groaned.

Ryou took that as a chance to drop it on the counter in front of the spirit.

Bakura cast his gaze down at the schedule with renewed hatred for school as he read; Algebra, Japanese, Study Hall, Chemistry, World History, Physical Education, Art-

"_Art?" _Bakura read aloud, "You signed me up for bloody art?"

Ryou nodded, reasoning, "I thought it'd make you more mellow if you had something relaxing to do."

Bakura growled but let it go, resolving that it wasn't the _worst _thing to happen to him. No, not by a long run. Worse things would come. He was sure. He had to pick his battles... Oh no, did he just jinx it? He shook his head, ridding his thoughts. No, nothing could surprise him now. And, nothing could be worse than the hell he'd been through that week...

-transition-

"'Kura? You still awake?" Ryou asked Bakura from across the room.

Bakura snored.

"'Kura?"

The yami continued to sleep.

":'KURA!" Ryou screeched, throwing one of his pillows onto Bakura's sleeping form.

"Ryou, what the f-"

"I can't sleep," Ryou told him, snuggling into his blanket.

Bakura rolled onto his side and mumbled, "Not my problem. Ryou, it's three in the morning. Sleep. _Now."_

"I can't," Ryou squeaked.

The next thing Bakura new, Ryou was poking his side, inquiring, "Can I sleep with you, 'Kura?"

"For the love of all things good and decent in this forsaken universe, Ryou!" Bakura cried, so surprised that he fell onto the grey carpeted floor with a dull thud.

"Are you okay, Bakura?" Ryou asked, leaning over the bed to spy his yami.

The spirit scrambled up and lied down on his bed once more, answering through clenched teeth, "I'm peachy."

Ryou sighed and sat on the edge of his 'twin's' bed, saying, "I'm worried, Bakura."

"'Bout what?" Bakura mumbled from under his blanket.

Ryou leaned against the headboard and hugged his knees to his chest. He played with a stand of his long, white hair while he explained, "I have to lie to some of my friends about you being my twin brother..."

"What about the Pharaoh's host's friends and stuff? They know who I am," Bakura tried to calm the hakari. He doubted that Ryou had many more friends outside that pitiful little group.

"Yeah, but they don't like you," Ryou answered simply.

Bakura grunted.

"And, can you blame them?" he added honestly.

Bakura kicked his 'twin'.

"Ow..." Ryou rubbed his foot where Bakura kicked him. But, he knew he deserved it. He cast his large eyes down guiltily and stated, "I'm sorry."

"I'd believe you a lot more if you'd let me sleep," Bakura mumbled back, his sheets still concealing his white head.

"But," Ryou persisted, "Isn't it wrong to lie to people and say that you're my brother?"

Bakura finally gave up on his dream of going back to sleep and threw the blankets off him. He sat up, leaning his head against the headboard next to his hakari as he told him, "You know, I've always been a fan of lying. So, I don't really care."

"Uh-huh," Ryou twisted his hair around his finger, distracted.

_Well, that's not going to make him go back to sleep... I'll have to think strategically..._

Bakura tried to explain, "Ryou, since I'm a spirit who dwelled in my- I mean, _your_ Millennium Item, I have been with you a long, _long _time." He felt like his own speech was going to put him to sleep.

Ryou nodded.

Bakura resumed, "And, I've been living with you... kind of like part of your family..."

Ryou acknowledged, "Yep."

Bakura questioned, gesturing with his hands, "Do you see where I'm going with this?"

The hakari blinked. He answered innocently, "Not a clue."

The spirit groaned and got to his point, angrily exclaiming, "I am in your family, Ryou! I am! So, you're not lying! You're just adding... fluff. That's what makes lying so fun! You get to be... _creative."_

"Oh," Ryou uttered, contemplating this. After a moment of thought, his face lit up, and he cried, "You're right, 'Kura!"

"I'm always right," Bakura muttered and brought his blanket back over him, ordering, "Now. Go. To. Sleep."

Ryou replied cheerfully, "'Kay." He lied down next to Bakura and snuggled up against his yami.

Bakura pushed his 'brother' out of his bed, stressing, "In your own bed, you creampuff!"

Ryou hit the floor, articulating a surprise yelp. But, he recovered quickly and climbed into his own bed, saying, "All right, Kitty, there's a long first day of school tomorrow. Got to get our rest."

"Whatever," Bakura responded.

"Good night!"

"It used to be..."

_Author's Note: Yayz! A quick update! :D_

_Any chance you'll toss me a review? Maybe. Kinda. I don't know. Please?_


	8. Chapter VIII: First Day

_Author's Note: Meant to update yesterday. Settled for today. _

_This is the chapter you've all been waiting for! (Or, at least I've been waiting for.) This is Bakura's first day of school! :D Oh, and poor little Bakura, I'm not going to make things easy for him… *evil smirk*_

_Well, here I go!_

Chapter 8: First Day

Ryou had tried everything to wake up his sleeping yami. But, Bakura just wouldn't wake. Ryou was running out of options and time.

As a last resort, the slightly smaller albino went in the kitchen, filled a skillet with ice cold water, and poured it onto the sleeping thief.

"Ryou!" Bakura cried, his eyes snapping open, ready to kill, "You son of a bitch!"

"Ah, ah, ah," Ryou chastised, waging his finger, "We're posing as brothers from now on. That means we have the same mother."

Bakura growled.

"Besides, you need to get ready for the day," Ryou grasped both of the spirit's wrists and pulled on him until he was upright. He said quickly, "Upsidaisy! We've got to be at school by seven thirty!"

"That better be in the afternoon…"

"No, the morning, silly!"

"Damn it!"

The hakari ran into the bathroom to finish getting ready, not wanting to around when Bakura finally mustered the energy to take out his anger on the thing nearest to him.

Bakura groggily got dressed and rinsed out his mouth with Coca-Cola, too lazily to wait for when Ryou was finished.

The thief sat down to a hasty bowl of Captain Crunch as Ryou stepped out, all fresh and prim for the first day of school.

"Aren't you going to take a shower, 'Kura?" Ryou wondered aloud.

Bakura shrugged at this and replied, "I think the cold water you drenched me with this morning is shower enough."

"Okay," Ryou agreed, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He examined his 'twin' for a moment before pointed out, "Wait a minute. We're wearing the same outfit…"

"So?" Bakura inquired, stuffing more cereal into his mouth.

"So, people are going to get confused," Ryou explained, "We really do look alike."

"And?"

"And, I don't want to confuse people."

"I do."

Ryou glared.

"What?"

The marginally smaller boy sighed and tried, "Can you please go change clothes?

"If it's bothering you so much, why don't you?"

"But, I spent _weeks _picking out my first day outfit!" Ryou whined, pouting.

"No."

"'Kura…"

"No."

"Kitty-"

"Fine! I give, I give, just shut the hell up!" Bakura snapped, going into his bag for new clothes.

"Thanks, 'Kura, you're the best," Ryou sugar-coated.

"Yeah, whatever," Bakura huffed.

He didn't change clothes but ended up throwing a long, black coat over his current attire, contradicting Ryou's pastel blue jacket.

"'Kay, let's go," Bakura mumbled, already depressed. But, he quickly thought of a way to cheer himself up and snatched the new Mustang key off the kitchen counter, yelling behind him as he raced out, "I call driving!"

Ryou threw on his and Bakura's backpack, calling after the yami, "Wait up!" The 'twins' made it outside, and Ryou told his other through gasps, trying to catch his breath after having to chase Bakura, "We don't… have to… drive, 'Kura… It's just down… the street…"

"Nonsense!" Bakura exclaimed, jumping over the car door and into the driver's seat. He reasoned, "Why walk when we have a fancy, blood-red convertible to drive in?" It was in the form of a question but left no room for rebuttal.

Ryou sighed and opened the passenger door instead of jumping over it and said in a defeated tone, "All right. Let's go before we're late."

"Fine by me," Bakura answered, his mood sufficiently lightened from being allowed to drive.

He backed the Mustang out of its parking spot and drove the half a mile to the school.

_Ryou was right, _Bakura thought as he parked outside the large building, _This school is damn close. We should have walked to prolong the time before I have to be trapped at school…_

"Are you ready, Bakura?" Ryou asked the thief, already knowing the answer.

"No."

"That's the spirit!"

The two boys exited the car, [Ryou] grabbing their backpacks. The entered the school and navigated to homeroom, all the girls giving the hot 'twins' lustful stares. They finally found their first class and walked in, finding a surprisingly large class conversing, the teacher nowhere to be seen.

"Ryou!" Bakura heard someone call out. The two almost identical boys cocked their heads to the side. Bakura spied the Pharaoh's host's group; consisting of Yugi, Tea, Joey, Tristan, Duke, and a few others whose names hadn't been forced upon him. _Hmm, this is going to be interesting…_

"Hi, guys!" Ryou greeted cheerfully, taking Bakura's hand and dragging him over to his circle of friends.

Instead of the group becoming deathly still like Bakura had imagined would happen, the friends didn't even seem to acknowledge the thief's existence. In fact, they talked louder, as if trying to cover up the awkwardness. That was fine to Bakura. He preferred being invisible.

But, the peace didn't last.

"'Sup, Bakura?"

Bakura reached new levels of pale.

"Ph-Pharaoh?" he forced out with the venom of a swear word, "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

_Now, _the group fell into deathly silence.

It was a stand-off. Bakura vs. Atem… or Yami… or whatever the hell he wanted to be called.

"Fancy meeting you here," Bakura said, his face deceiving none of his thoughts or emotions.

The Pharaoh smiled confidently, returning, "Likewise." He continued to say, "I see you escaped death in the ancient times."

"That's right," Bakura retorted, "And, I take it that the afterlife wasn't to your taste either?"

It was so quiet, one could hear Ryou's unsteady breathing. Even the kids whom were oblivious to the real identities of the spirit were at a tense quiet, witnessing the exchange.

"Yes, sir," the Pharaoh resumed smiling assuredly, "These guys couldn't get rid of me that easily."

"Hmm," Bakura hummed and quipped, "That's a shame."

The Pharaoh made a step forward to lunge at the thief, but Yugi held him back, whispering, "Stop, Atem."

Atem shrugged Yugi off but apologized, "I'm sorry, Yugi." He collected himself and offered a hand to Bakura, suggesting, "Why don't we just start over?"

Bakura ping-ponged this offer in his mind and eventually replied, "No thanks."

Atem's eyes narrowed dangerously, but he responded, "Fine, have it your way."

"I will," Bakura smirked sinisterly, sitting down at a desk next to Ryou and on the outskirts of the Pharaoh's group.

But, the damn Pharaoh sat right down next to Bakura, greeting casually, "Hi, again."

"What do you want, 'Atem'?" Bakura questioned, putting air-quotes on the Pharaoh's name which he had adopted.

Atem crossed his arms and stated, "Well, I've made up my mind to try to be your friend." Bakura chocked on his own breath in surprise. Atem continued, "Plus, I get to annoy the hell out of you in the process. I'm killing two birds with one stone as they say."

"How conservative of you," Bakura said with mock sincerity.

Ryou rapidly changed the subject, saying, "Here's your backpack, 'Kura." He dropped the bag on his yami's desk.

"Hey, careful!" Bakura exclaimed, surprising those around to hear. He explained with urgency, "There's special cargo in here!"

"Well," Ryou rubbed his shoulder, "Whatever 'special cargo' you have in there is giving me a hunch."

Yugi spoke up from next to Atem, inquiring, "What's in your bag, Bakura?"

The spirit grinned and replied, "I'll show you." He unzipped his backpack, and a little, white kitten walked out.

"You brought Kitty?" Ryou exclaimed.

Against their will, the majority of the Pharaoh's group burst into laughter.

Bakura argued with Ryou, "Well, I couldn't just leave him at home where he could get into trouble." He smiled sickeningly sweetly as he added, "I learned that from you, Ry-Ry."

Ryou's face flushed. The rest of the students continued to giggle and laugh, Atem being the most hysterical.

Bakura paid no attention to this, placing Kitty on his lap and stroking him like an evil villain.

Finally controlling his laughter, Atem asked, "Could I hold your kitty, Bakura?"

Bakura was going to snap a quick 'no', but then he got a better idea. "Sure," he answered with a deceiving smile, placing Kitty on the Pharaoh's desk.

"Aww," Atem petted the cat, commenting mischievously, "Kitty looks just like you, 'Kura."

"Uh-huh," Bakura responded faintly, folding his arms.

Suddenly, Atem articulated a yelp. He pushed the cat back onto Bakura's desk, informing the group, "The cat bit me."

Bakura cackled and placed Kitty back on his lap, praising softly, "Good Kitty, good."

Atem glared.

"Good morning, students," a female teacher greeted as she entered the classroom, "Sorry that I'm late. You wouldn't believe the traffic and don't get me started on the-" She stopped in mid-sentence. She glanced down at the attendance sheet on her desk and back up at the class, questioning, "… Bakura, is it?"

Bakura nodded.

"… Why is there a feline on your desk?"

The students stifled their giggles.

"None of your concern," Bakura responded and set Kitty in his backpack, saying, "Kitty won't be a disturbance. Please go back to whatever the hell you were saying before."

The teacher looked surprised at this retort, shocked even. But, like many before her, she realized Bakura wasn't a person to mess with and let it go. She got herself back on topic, saying, "Now, I know break just ended, but it's time to get back to work. Everyone, take out Algebra books and try to refresher problems on page five…"

Bakura groaned to himself, setting his white head on his desk.

Atem took advantage of this and leaned down to the thief's ear, whispering, "I know this is probably a bad time, but I should tell you to pay attention. This is going to be on our next test… and the midterm after that… and the final after that… and-"

Bakura kicked the Pharaoh's shin, hissing, "Shut up. You got to live through it, too."

"Yeah, but I was actually paying attention during school when I was with my hakari. Whereas you, on the other hand, have a lot of catching up to do. And, if you don't, you'll be held back and will have to stay here…" Atem added for emphasis, "… _Forever."_

Bakura banged his forehead against the desk.

Atem grinned smugly, informing, "You know, you're not going to get your knowledge from banging your head on your desk."

"And, _you're _not going to like it when I cut out your tongue and feed it to my cat in a seafood medley."

Atem clenched his jaw shut, the threat enough to keep him quiet the remainder of the period.

-transition-

The remainder of the classes went about the same as the first, minus one or two people who went or came to different classes. But, the last class (art) only had Bakura and Atem. No other people in the group were there to keep them apart. Not even the hakaris. Well, there went Ryou's theory that art would relax Bakura…

"What are you painting, Bakura?" Atem inquired the thief, leaning to the side to catch a glimpse at Bakura's painting.

"What does it look like, Pharaoh?" he questioned back, not taking his eyes off his work.

"Well," Atem described, "It looks like… a bunch of multi-colored parallel lines."

"Ding, ding, ding," Bakura alerted with no enthusiasm.

Atem folded his arms and admitted, "Actually, I think your painting is nice."

"Sure," Bakura responded, not believing the past pharaoh.

"No, really," Atem insisted, "You're good."

Bakura began ranting angrily, "I don't need your op- Wait, did you say it was good?"

Atem nodded.

Bakura huffed, "Whatever."

Atem smiled, though Bakura was too busy to notice. He was going to prove to the thief that they could be friends. Even if it took countless hours, the majority of Atem's patience, and brought about the end of the world, Atem was going to prove it. He had made his mind up to do so, just like he said. And, when Pharaoh Atem chose to do something, he never gave up, no matter how hard the fight.

_Author's Note: And, the fight will be hard… *evil laugh*_

_Did you enjoy that? I hope so._

_Side Note: I debated for the longest time whether to call Atem "Atem" or just "Yami". Finally, I picked Atem (though I think Yami is awesomer) because I often refer to Bakura as "the yami" or "his yami" and it was just getting confusing._

_Enough of my rambling. Review?_


	9. Chapter VIIII: Cold Conditions

_Author's Note: I had to type this on my dad's laptop, but I got it out. Here's the next chappie! It's probably one of my favorites that I've wrote so far. Hope you like it, too! :3_

Chapter VIIII: Cold Conditions

"Ryou!" Bakura yelled unnecessarily loud even though his 'twin' was just one room away.

Ryou walked into the kitchen, a textbook in hand and asked calmly, "What is it, Bakura?"

Bakura complained, "The microwaffle isn't working!"

Ryou blinked.

"I'm sorry. The _what _isn't working?"

"The mircowaffle!" Bakura repeated, infuriated. He pointed to the devise on the kitchen counter.

Ryou burst into a fit of giggles and corrected, "No, no, 'Kura, that's the micro_wave. _Not the micro_waffle."_

"Whatever the hell it is, it's not working," Bakura informed him, pouting.

Ryou glanced at the microwave and stated, "That's because you have to tell the microwave how long to go and at what power."

"Fine," Bakura huffed. The spirit turned to the devise and commanded it aloud, "Five seconds. MAXIMUM POWER."

Ryou sustained another giggle and explained, "No, Kitty, you have to _touch _the buttons. Like this…" Ryou set the microwave to a certain amount of time and started it.

_Ah, so this is why I let my hakari live… _Bakura mused to himself. He growled, "I hate this technology."

"Once you learn to use it, I'm sure you'll appreciate it," Ryou told him in a positive tone.

"Whatever makes you feel better…" Bakura mumbled, waiting for his popcorn to finish 'microwaffling'.

"So," Ryou sat down on their new couch and inquired, "How did you like your first day of school?"

Bakura winced at the mention of it and questioned, "Am I required to answer that question?"

"I guess not," the 'twin' answered, drinking some tea as he simultaneously studied.

Bakura's popcorn finally finished. He opened the microwave door and snatched the popcorn bag, articulating, "Damn!" and dropping it as it burned his fingers. The thief whined, "Why didn't you warn me it was hot, Ry?"

Ryou replied without looking up from his text as he turned a page, "There are caution signs printed all over the bag."

"The day I read voluntarily is the day I want you to take me to an asylum," Bakura muttered, picking up the popcorn bag from the floor. He fiddled with it until what little patience he had grew thin and ripped it open, popcorn flying everywhere.

Luckily, Kitty skipped along and began eating up the popcorn, making it unnecessary for Bakura to need to clean it up.

"Good Kitty," Bakura praised, leaving the cat to lick up the scraps. He waltzed out of the kitchen with the popcorn bag in hand, about a third of it still left in it for Bakura to snack on. He sat down on the couch second couch adjacent to the one Ryou sat on and did just that.

"If Kitty gets a stomachache, it'll be on your head," Ryou commented.

"Technically, it'll be on our floor, but I get the point," Bakura retorted. After it finished the popcorn, the cat jumped onto Bakura's lap, letting the spirit stroke it.

"Let's study together, 'Kura!" Ryou suddenly suggested. He added with enthusiasm, "It'll be fun!"

Bakura ate some of his savored popcorn and growled, "Ryou, it's the first day of school. What could we possibly have to study?"

"Well, Yugi told me that the chemistry teacher is going to give us a pop quiz tomorrow."

"'Pop quiz'?" Bakura echoed, the definition of such a thing unknown to him.

"Ya," Ryou explained, "A pop quiz is a surprise, short test that the teacher springs on the class to make sure they're studying on a regular basis."

"How infuriating," Bakura hissed, stroking Kitty a little harder with growing rage.

Ryou seemed to translate that as a 'let's study' and poked his nose in his textbook and began reading, "When Mitosis occurs, several organisms…"

While his hakari was busy, Bakura leaned on side of the couch and placed Kitty on his chest. Slowly, Bakura's eyes began to feel heavy. He _had _woke up earlier than any other day before that. The good thing about Marik's was that he was able to sleep until noon. With Ryou, he would have to wake up at the crack of dawn again and again and again and…

"Bakura?"

Bakura was snoring, lost in dreamland.

Ryou smiled at this and promptly shut his textbook. The mutual sleeping kitten on Bakura's chest made the scene all the more adorable.

The other albino decided to sleep, too. Kitty may have tracked salt and butter all over the floor and Ryou was still not prepared for the pop quiz, but all felt right in the world at that moment in light of the peaceful scene.

Ryou climbed into his bed and mumbled sleepily, "'Night, Kittys…"

-transition-

Cold water was poured over Bakura.

"Ryou, I'm gonna kill-"

But, as Bakura sat up, he discovered that it wasn't Ryou whom had woken him up.

It was the Pharaoh.

"Rise and shiney, 'Kura," Atem sang with an unnerving grin.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Bakura's narrowed eyes glanced around, "And, what did you do with my hakari?"

"Ryou had to go to school early for some last-minute studying," he continued to smile mercilessly, adding, "So, he asked me to _babysit _you."

Bakura stood up and attempted to punch the Pharaoh right in the jaw, but Atem moved to the side, using no effort to dodge the assault. Bakura missed and fell onto the carpet, too tired to aim correctly.

"Tisk, tisk," Atem clicked his tongue in a very irritating way, "Violence will get you nowhere."

Bakura growled from the ground, "You're just lucky that it's six in the bloody morning."

Atem ignored this and pulled the other spirit up into a standing position. He ordered, "Now, go get ready before we're late and make our hakaris worry."

"What's the matter, Pharaoh? Someone can't live without the aid of his hakari?" Bakura mocked.

Atem's eyebrow rose skeptically, and he countered, "Well, maybe if we're early, we can make some oatmeal in the 'microwaffle'."

Bakura didn't retort, the point taken.

After he finished getting ready, the thief warned the Pharaoh as they walked out of the building, "I don't care what you tell Ryou, I'm not letting you ride in my car. You walk."

"Don't be like that, 'Kura," Atem poked the other spirit's side, "I _know _I'm growing on you."

"Yep," Bakura agreed sardonically, "Like a mushroom on a stump."

They exited the building and found that the day was going to be rainy one. Storm clouds hung over the landscape, threatening to release their wrath at any moment. It was already pouring and appearing to become harder. This gave Bakura an idea…

He formed a plan and put it into action.

Bakura gave a sharp yelp as if he were in pain.

"What is it, Bakura?" Atem inquired uncertainly.

The thief pointed back at the building and asked with false urgency, "You _did _remember to close the door, right?"

"I- I'm not sure," Atem admitted in a stammer.

"Well, go back up there and check!" Bakura exclaimed, straining to sound fearful, "Kitty might get out!"

"Okay, okay," Atem chanted, putting his hands up defensively, "Don't worry. I'll go check. Kitty is going to be fine."

As soon as Atem turned his back and faced away, Bakura sprinted to his Mustang, jumped in, and started up the engine. He backed out of the parking spot quickly.

Atem, halfway back to the door of the building, realized this must have been a trick and turned around just in time to get splashed and drenched with a puddle from Bakura's back tires as he sped off.

Bakura called behind him, "Have a nice walk, Pharaoh!"

-transition-

More than halfway into homeroom, Atem stumbled into the classroom. He was extremely soaked, dripping as he walked. The teacher had finished teaching and the class was conversing, too busy to notice. But, Bakura noticed. How could he not with the death stare Atem was giving him drilling into his head?

Atem stopped directly in front of the thief's desk, his eyes so narrow, they were almost closed.

"Hi there," Bakura greeted with mock cheerfulness. He glanced out the window and saw to his satisfaction that it was raining harder than ever. He quipped, "Wonderful weather we're having."

Atem wanted to hurt him. He really did. He even sensed Yugi behind him, ready to stop him. But, he didn't want to give Bakura the satisfaction. Plus, he was trying to be his friend, which was already proving to take every ounce of his strength. He would get his revenge in time…

The Pharaoh took a shallow breath and responded calmly, "Yes, it is. Beautiful day for a stroll. You should try it some time, Bakura."

The albino spirit shrugged.

Atem walked away, the desire for vengeance still burning inside him.

Yugi followed and gave a sigh of relief, telling Atem in a whisper, "I thought you were really going to hurt Bakura."

Atem gave a genuine smile that felt slightly out of place and asked, "Now, what kind of friend would I be if I did that?"

_Author's Note: Yep, defiantly my favorite chapter so far. What about you? Will you do me a great honor and review?_


	10. Chapter X: Seeds of Hate

_Author's Note: Sorry for the wait. Here is chapter 10!_

Chapter X: Seeds of Hate

"You're going down, Bakura!"

"In your dreams, mortal!"

Ryou walked into the room and asked, "What are you guys doing?"

Joey, Tristan, and Bakura were playing on the Xbox 360, driving virtual cars through a poor virtual city. Pixilated people ran left and right to avoid the cars race down the road in search of the finish line.

"I'm shaming these humans, that's what," Bakura answered, not taking his eyes off the flashing screen for even a second, violently gripping the game controller.

"He's right," Tristan admitted, teeth clenched as he jerked the game controller up into the air as if it would help him win. "Joey, what do we do?"

"Hold on… I think we can…" the blonde trailed off, not finishing his thought. His tongue hung out of the side of his mouth as he was in deep thought.

After a few more minutes, Joey and Tristan gave duel exasperated sighs, tossing the game controllers on the couch and leaning back to take a breather as if they had just run a marathon.

"A-ha!" Bakura jumped up and cheered, announcing while he waved his controller in the air, "I am the Game Master!"

"I don't know…" Joey sang, treading into dangerous waters, "… I'm pretty sure Atem could take you down…"

Bakura's eyebrow quirked.

"No!" Ryou pleaded, waving his hands frantically, "Please don't get him started. I beg of you! Please don't!"

But, it was too late.

Bakura tapped his chin and thought aloud, "I _have _been wanting to get back at Pharaoh for kicking me down so hard after I lost our last shadow game…"

"Yeah, he tried to get rid of you…" Tristan added quietly.

"You're not helping!" Ryou cried indignantly. He _needed _to get those two out before they got Bakura _really _agitated. He received an idea and said, "Hey, guys, Bakura and I have to study. Are you going to stay and join us?"

"I'm out," Joey volunteered first, standing up and walking out of the dorm.

"I'm right behind you," Tristan followed Joey's example, shutting the door after him with a slam.

After they left, Bakura asked Ryou angrily, "Ryou, what the hell?"

"What?" Ryou inquired, looking as innocent as ever.

Bakura interrogated, "Why did you make them leave? We're not studying. It's a _Friday."_

Ryou sighed as he began to make dinner. He explained, "Well, I just didn't want them to rile you up. You've got enough challenges without holding a grudge on Atem. I know you two don't like each other, but you put a lot of stress on _other people _when you fight."

"'_Other people'_?" Bakura questioned, "Like whom?"

Ryou coughed something.

"What?"

He coughed again.

"What?"

"ME!"

"… What?"

Ryou rolled his eyes in slight annoyance and clenched his yami's shoulders, clarifying, "When you fight with people, I'm left to clean up the messes you leave. So, please, I'm pleading to you, _don't _fight. Especially with Atem. Can you do that for me?"

Bakura gave him a 'yeah, right, like that'll ever happen' look in return.

"Just try?" Ryou asked, looking hopeful.

Bakura groaned but answered quietly, "'Kay."

"Thanks!" the hakari hugged the spirit, promising, "You're the best yami ever!"

"Damn right," Bakura agreed, giving Ryou half a hug back.

-transition-

Bakura was sitting in Chemistry, happily mixing deadly toxins together, when a young girl walked up to his lab table. The spirit saw her approaching but didn't acknowledge her, hoping she'd leave, seeing he was busy.

"Hello?"

No, no such luck shined on him that day. Bakura didn't respond.

"Excuse me?"

Bakura's eyebrows gathered as he used up his strength, trying to ignore the annoying girl.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes! I can bloody hear you!" Bakura snapped, his little patience worn thin.

The girl jumped a few inches back in surprise of his outburst but seemed to recover quickly and asked, "May I talk to you?"

"You _are _talking to me," Bakura informed, not taking his eyes off the beakers holding deadly chemicals in front of him.

The girl somehow translated his reply to 'sit down, let's talk' and sat in the vacant seat next to the thief. Why was there a vacant seat next to Bakura? Simple; no one was stupid enough to sit next to the spirit in his time of bliss with his poisonous chemicals. Well, apparently, _this girl _was.

She inquired, "You're one of the Bakura twins, right?"

"What's it to you?"

"Are you Ryou or Bakura?"

"Do I look like a Ryou?" In fact, he did.

"Oh, so you're Bakura? Good."

Bakura dropped his work and turned to the infuriating girl, questioning, "What do you mean by 'good'?"

"Well," she started in a hushed tone, twisting a strand of golden hair around her finger, "I was going to ask you out, so I wanted to make sure you were Bakura." 

Bakura's anger spiked. He asked infuriately, "Are you implying that my twin isn't as good as I am?"

The girl didn't seem to be fazed by this and giggled as she explained, "Well, yeah! Ryou's a geek, and you're cool and mysterious." She entangled her arm around Bakura's and finished, "I like guys like that."

This girl needed a good whack up side the head. And, Bakura was just the person to give it to her…

_But, why be practical about this? _Bakura thought, evil schemes forming in his mind, _I think I'll take a more… _creative _route…_

Bakura smiled, though he was disgusted by the slutty teenager's approach to him and sweet talked, "And, I like girls who can be bold and speak their mind."

"Yeah?" the girl leaned closer, obviously implying that she wanted some form affection. And, in the middle of class? _What a slut… _Bakura thought distastefully.

"How about a hug?" Bakura suggested, nauseated with himself at the thought that he would ever ask something _remotely _like that.

She looked puzzled at this but nodded and leaned into the spirit. Bakura leaned in as well, gripping a beaker from the table behind his back. He wrapped his arm around her neck.

And poured the beaker of toxins down her back.

The girl shivered at first, then she felt her skin begin to tingle. Then, it started to burn.

She yelped and yipped like a celebrity's rat dog that hadn't been put outside all day, running around in a circle. Perhaps her similarity to a dog was why Bakura had predicted she would be a bitch. And, he was right.

Bakura silently nicknamed her The Chihuahua.

The thief smirked without a hint of remorse. The concoction he had made was totally harmless. The only thing it did was sting a little.

And disintegrate clothes.

The girl (The Chihuahua) realized this a little too quickly for Bakura's taste, and she rushed out of the classroom door as the mixture did the last of its job.

_The Chihuahua is gonna have a hard time explaining _that _to the school nurse, _Bakura thought, satisfied, _That'll teach her to mess with me or my hakari._

"Bakura!"

_Damn…_

A very angry teacher whose name escaped Bakura rushed up to him and pointed at the door The Chihuahua had just left through, articulating, "You. Office. Now."

"Whatever." Bakura snatched his backpack from the floor and walked out the door. As he hiked down to the principle's office, the yami opened his backpack and picked Kitty out of it, cuddling him in his grasp. He whispered to his pet, "It was worth it. You agree, right, Kitty?"

"_Meow."_

_Author's Note: And so ends another chapter of Kitty's Discoveries. Don't worry; there's more to come! The Chihuahua will show up again… in your nightmares… lol, jk. XD She's based off a person in my Spanish class who is a pure… whatever the heck Bakura will continue to call the fiction version of her. _

_Stop! REVIEW TIME! :D_


	11. Chapter XI: Juvenile Delinquent Bonding

_Author's Note: I'm wearing stripy socks today! They're PINK! :D_

_On with the chapter!_

Chapter XI: Juvenile Delinquent Bonding

"Why'd you do it, Bakura?" Ryou asked, worry and concern drowning in his wide eyes as the two drove home from school.

Bakura looked away from those eyes. They were plaguing him with guilt. _I did it for you, Ryou, _he thought. But, no, he couldn't say that. What that bratty teenager had said about him would be too much for his little hakari's fragile heart. Instead, the spirit answered, "That girl just needed to learn a lesson," he added with a sinister smile, "And, I was happy to teach it to her."

Ryou shook his head and sighed. "Well, you've got some detentions to make up, starting after school tomorrow. And, I don't want you skipping them. Got that?"

"Sure, whatever," Bakura mumbled under his breath. Actually, he had no intention of ditching his detentions. He had some better ideas on how to occupy his time while he was there…

-transition-

_Hmm… So this is detention… _Bakura observed the bleak classroom. He had to say, he was not impressed. The spirit had never experienced detention before being that Ryou was such an exceptional student.

But, Bakura was more than pleased when the teacher placed there to watch him sneaked off to the teacher's lounge within the first few minutes. Bakura was the only person in detention that day. And, that meant he could have some fun…

The yami stood up and made his way to the vacant desk of the teacher and began sorting through all the items in the drawers. He found a turkey sandwich and a confiscated phone, both of which he pocketed. Nothing else interested him. Most of the contents were pencils and paper, which nauseated the thief.

Suddenly, the classroom doorknob began to shake.

Bakura sprung up and scrambled to his desk just before the door opened.

An overweight teacher pushed a person in, mumbling, "Stay here 'till detention is over…"

The classroom door slid shut, leaving the student with Bakura to wait through detention.

"Pharaoh?"

Atem looked up at Bakura and shrugged. He sauntered over and took the seat next to Bakura. He asked the albino yami casually, "What's up?"

"_You _got detention?" Bakura questioned, genuinely surprised. He crossed his arms and inquired nonchalantly, "Did the teachers get fed up with you for having too many straight A's?"

"Oh, Bakura, you underestimate me so," Atem replied, tapping his foot on the floor, restless.

Bakura's curiosity grabbed a hold of him, and he asked, "So, why are you here?"

The Pharaoh enlightened, "I'm actually here for Yugi."

"What could that little munchkin have done?" Bakura interrogated.

Atem's eyebrows furrowed, but he answered quietly, "He was off task… playing card games." Bakura almost laughed, but Atem shot him a look. The Pharaoh continued, "He didn't want it on his record, so I told the teacher it was actually me-"

"Which is believable, considering how often you play cards," Bakura cut in.

Atem softly growled but resumed, "- And, that's why I'm in detention."

"So, you took the heat for your hakari? How _noble _of you," Bakura said with mock praise. He got no reply. Wanting to agitate Atem, he stated, "I guess the good yami couldn't _actually _ever do anything to get himself detention." Bakura stroked his cheek to signify a tear and faked sniffles while he said, "So sad. You're a disappointment to yamis everywhere."

Atem hissed, "I _could _do something bad. I just don't _want _to."

"Excuses, excuses." Bakura brushed off his justification.

"I could!" Yami protested loudly.

"Prove it then." Bakura grinned, letting Atem know he had just fallen into his hands. The thief inquired, "Wanna help me do something bad?" He wagered temptingly, "I'll let you pick what…"

Atem's eyes narrowed. He questioned, "Like what?"

Bakura smiled, explaining, "Oh, we can do an amateur prank if you'd like. I'm sure we can think one up. In fact… I think I have something so simple, even _you _can do it."

"Does it involve leaving this room?"

"Yes."

"Then, I can't," Atem insisted, looking off to the side with a bored expression, "I have to stay here for Yugi."

Bakura scoffed, "Honestly, Pharaoh, do you think I'd be stupid enough to be caught while committing my acts of evil?"

"You were caught doing your last one, apparently. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

He had a point.

"I got caught on purpose." He didn't really, but it wasn't like he was _trying _to be secretive about it.

Atem seemed to gain a little interest and looked at Bakura, as if trying to see if there were any beneficial aspects of going along with what he said.

Bakura added, "This little prank will get you out of tomorrow's pop quiz in Algebra."

"There's a pop quiz in Algebra tomorrow?"

"According to Ryou." 

"Fine." Atem stood up and sighed, stressing, "But, this is a _one time _thing."

Bakura followed suit and stood up as well. He smirked, dismissing, "Whatever, whatever. Now, com'on!" He dragged Atem out, not trusting that he would follow as he told him, ending with an evil laugh, "There's only an hour left of detention and so much destruction to cause."

-transition-

Homeroom. The next day.

Bakura glanced at Atem, and they nodded at each other. They both knew what was coming.

The teacher, the one that was always late, walked over her desk hurriedly, saying, "All right, students, pop quiz today!" The students groaned. "Let me get the tests out of the desk and we can start…"

She opened the drawer to remove the papers, and instead of finding a stack of tests, discovered a vat of frogs. She screeched as they jumped out of the desk and onto the tiled classroom floor. The rest of the class joined in the panic and screamed as well, tripping over one another to exit the classroom now filled to the brim with frogs.

Well, minus Bakura and Atem. They were in laughing fits on the ground.

To Bakura, this was a really immature prank that only brought slight amusement. But, to Atem, this was probably the worse thing he'd ever done. And, to him, it was hysterical.

"Com'on," Bakura muttered, grasping Atem's arm and pulling him out of the room, "First rule of being a delinquent: Always get away from the crime scene. The second is: Deny everything. So, let's go so we can make it to the second step." He yanked Atem out into the hallway, the past Pharaoh still in somewhat of a laughing coma.

They made it to the gym, far away enough to be considered innocent bystanders.

Atem finally got a hold of his laughter and stuttered, "That- was actually- kind of fun- Bakura!" 

Bakura grinned and patted Atem's back, congratulating, "Welcome to the dark side, Pharaoh. By the way, the cookies were a lie."

-transition-

Domino High School suffered several more pranks that week, each one a little more amusing than the last. It was doing more than disturbing the peace; it was distracting Bakura from the discomfort of school. Killing two birds with one stone, really… But, _nothing _could distract him from what he was soon forced to do.

He had to write an apology letter to the bitch that had bad-mouthed his hakari.

"I'm not doing it!" Bakura screeched while he played video games on the sofa.

"You have to, 'Kura," Ryou explained, "The school's going to suspend you if you don't."

"And, what's so bad about being forced to stay at home?" the yami questioned, not understanding this. He leaned to the left self-consciously when he virtual racecar went around a bend.

Ryou clarified, "Because, they'll send a note home that your _parents _have to sign. Then, what will you do?" 

"Forge a signature?" Bakura offered, eyes still on the TV screen.

Ryou shook his head, admonishing, "No, Kitty. Bad. No more signature forging… Not after the passport incident…"

"Never. Speak. Of. It. Again." Bakura laced every word with acid for emphasis, shuddering at the memory.

Ryou sat down on the couch next to his yami, a textbook lying carelessly on his lap. He thought. He couldn't think up any other solution than to write the letter.

"Can't think of anything either?" Bakura guessed after a few minutes, placing his game controller down to drink some root beer.

Ryou shook his white head sullenly.

"Fine," Bakura huffed, "I'll write the damn letter. Will that make you happy?"

"Yes!" Ryou hugged him.

"_The things I do for you…" _Bakura muttered just quiet enough not to be detected by his hakari.

_Author's Note: Lots of stuff happened, huh? Important chapter. You like? Prove it! Write me a review! ? _


	12. Chapter XII: Letters

_Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews so far! Did I forget to tell you guys you're amazing? I did? HOLY! Hope this'll make up for it!_

_*superspecialawesome hug*_

_Feel better? I thought so._

_Here's the chappie!_

_P.S. I think I was channeling Bakura when I wrote the first letter or something… *shivers*_

Chapter XII: Letters

_Dear Obnoxious Human,_

_I believe it was bloody rude to act like a hooker from the streets to me and a stuck-up bitch to my twin. Take your degraded self and leave us alone. _

_Since I have to apologize for something in this letter, I'll say this: I'm sorry you will die alone._

_Warm regards, Bakura_

Bakura liked this draft. A lot. He was all ready to send it directly to The Chihuahua.

Unfortunately, Ryou found it…

"BAKURA! How could you say those things to that sweet and innocent girl?"

Bakura winced as his 'brother' yelled into his ear. He explained, "Sorry, Ryou, but the gal's a bitch. You don't even know her. I only met her once and already know she's a slut."

"BAKURA!" Ryou cried again, "Stop using language!" He stared off into space with a dreamy look and described, "That girl is nothing but a sweetheart. She has golden hair and green eyes that dazzle like-"

"Two dried up raisins?" Bakura guessed.

Ryou shot him a glare and then returned to imagining the girl.

"Wait a second…" Bakura received a small revelation and noted, "I know that look…" He gasped. "Do you actually _like _that bitch?"

Ryou ignored the language, lost in the shock of the question, and tucked a pale strand of hair behind his ear, whispering, "Maybe."

Bakura groaned. Of all the people for his hakari to like! It had to be _her. _Why her? Why?

But, suddenly, the spirit's mind rapidly created a plan. A devious one. Oh, revenge would be _his. _Even _more _revenge. No, this girl hadn't suffered enough! Her suffering was only beginning. But, he had to act fast and cease the opportunity before it passed him by.

"You're right, Ryou." Bakura snatched his first draft out of his 'twin's' hand and lied through his teeth, "That girl deserves better. I'll go make up a new letter right away."

Ryou blushed as he was reminded of the girl and mumbled, "Thank you."

Bakura mentally threw up but replied, "No problem."

The thief sat down at the desk in their dorm and began writing away, his ingenious plan beginning to take form. Yes, the plan was being pushed into motion immediately. But, first-

"Hey, wait," Bakura turned to Ryou and inquired, "What's The Chihua- I mean, what's that girl's name?" Good thing he caught himself…

"Her name's Kepi."

_Wow, even her name screams hooker… _Bakura thought with slight amusement. He commented something like, "That's nice" before returning to his second draft of the letter.

_Hmm, _Bakura thought with satisfaction as he looked over his completed letter, _The Chihuahua is gonna _love _this._

-transition-

"What's this?" Kepi wondered aloud to herself as she opened her locker and a letter fell gracefully onto the hallway floor from it.

She leaned to the floor and retrieved the paper, unfolding it to indulge in its words.

It read:

_Dearest Kepi-_

_I deeply apologize for being so childish the day we met. I just didn't know any other way to get your attention._

_I'd like to start over. Please, I'd like to go to dinner with you this Friday night. If you accept, leave a note in my locker._

_Deeply appreciated, Bakura_

Kepi melted under the words. A date with that eye candy? Who wouldn't say yes?

The highschooler closed her locker and leaned against it, hugging the letter to her heart. She gave a dramatic sigh.

Once she was able to fully absorb its luscious words, she skipped to class happily, tucking the letter in her side bag.

Bakura smirked from around the corner.

Mortals were so easy to fool. Especially hookers. That letter may have been hell to write, but it looked like it was going to be worth it.

The spirit, content with his work, went to class to implicate part two of his plan.

He discovered Ryou saving a desk for him in history class.

"Where have you been, 'Kura?" Ryou inquired. He informed, "You're ten minutes late."

Bakura sat down in his saved seat and explained with an innocent expression, "I was just delivering that apology letter to The Chi- I mean, Kepi."

"Oh," Ryou articulated. He squirmed uncomfortably and questioned almost too quietly to hear, "How did it go?"

Bakura inwardly smirked and stated, "Perfect. And, I have some exciting news for you."

"What?" Ryou asked, his eyes as large as his curiosity.

Bakura let a small smile escape as he leaked, "Kepi wants to go out with you this Friday night."

Ryou's face flushed a deep crimson. He looked like some type of British tomato.

"Wh- what? Are you- are you sure?" he barely managed to stutter.

Bakura let his smirk reveal itself as he replied, "Absolutely." He added, "I'll give you some tips before the date, alright?"

Ryou nodded hesitantly, his face still bright red.

_Oh, yes, _Bakura thought, _Revenge will be mine._

-transition-

"Okay, Ryou," Bakura coached his 'brother', "Kepi likes to call everyone by their last name, so don't correct her when she calls you 'Bakura'. It'll make her self-concious."

Ryou nodded in agreement then inquired, "But, do I really need to wear your clothes, Bakura? They're making me feel uncomfortable." The smaller albino squirmed in a black coat of Bakura's.

_Sh-, I don't have an excuse for that… I'll just have to get him distracted on something else… _Bakura contemplated. "Let's talk about where you're going," he quickly shifted subjects.

Ryou dropped his previous question and nodded.

"Okay," Bakura described, "You're going out to dinner, so you need to class it up a bit." He narrowed his eyes at his hakari and clarified, "And, if Kepi is anything but classy, you get the hell out of there. Got it?"

Ryou's eyes grew, and he stumbled, "What- what do you mean?"

_That's right, _Bakura recalled, _Ryou's been completely protected his whole damn life. He's so… innocent. So, how do I go about this? _He began, "Ryou, not all girls out there are as innocent as you think." He leaned in for dramatic effect. "Some want _more _than you're willing to give them."

Ryou's eyes gleamed with fearful, unshed tears.

"Don't give it to them," Bakura stressed, "Do the right thing at all costs." Ra, when had he let himself get so soft?

Nonetheless, Ryou swallowed and answered in a stumble, "O- okay."

"Good." Bakura pushed Ryou in the direction of the door, saying, "Knock 'em dead, kid."

Ryou bobbed his head and walked out.

It was only after the wooden door closed shut that Bakura added coldly under his breath, "Literally."

_Author's Note: Next chapter is probably my favorite chapter yet! Although, I say that about nearly every chapter…_

_Anyways, please review!_


	13. Chapter XIII: Returns and Revenge

_Author's Note: I wasn't going to update for another week, but then I got FIFTEEN REVIEWS. Stuff like that will make you update ASAP._

_So, here ya go! My favorite chapter so far! _

_Warning: Tons of Ryou and Bakura fluff! Not slash. Remember, no yaoi. But, lots of bromance! :D_

_And, begin!_

Chapter XIII: Returns and Revenge

Bakura was half asleep when he heard a knock at the door. He groggily looked at his digital clock. It had only been an hour since Ryou had left on his date. He would not be back until midnight at least, perhaps even later. Plus, he'd have a key, so why would he need to knock?

The thief decided to ignore whoever was at the door and go back to sleep.

But, the knocking continued, louder and harder than before.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Bakura snarled. He marched over to the door and opened it, asking harshly before checking whom it was, "What the hell do you want?"

"Hello there, Bakura." A certain somebody smirked as he stood there. "I assume you missed me."

Bakura slammed the door and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

"Marik," the albino yami called weakly, "Please tell me this is a joke."

"It's no joke," he answered through the door, "Now, open the door or face your certain end."

Bakura complied and slowly opened the door again, recomposing himself. He commented, "Well, isn't it nice for the _other _Egyptian Pansy to visit me. I didn't know it was my birthday. Did you bring me any cake?"

"The cake was a lie, bitch," Yami Marik quipped, walking in.

"So," Bakura wondered aloud, "Should I call you 'Marik' as well? Or, do you prefer 'homicidal maniac'?"

"Actually, Marik got in the habit of calling me 'Melvin'." He smiled sweetly. "I'd be nice if you'd do the same."

"Of course, Melvin," Bakura replied, trying out the new nickname for Marik's not-so-imaginary friend. He went into the kitchen to retrieve himself and the other yami a drink and questioned, "And, what do I owe the pleasure of this surprise visit from you? I take it the Shadow Realm is a little too cold this winter?" 

"No, the Shadow Realm is just fine this time of year," Melvin played along. He yawned and added, "But, I got bored with the place. It couldn't keep me there. Not ever hell itself can keep a firm grasp on me."

"I believe it," Bakura replied, tossing the other Egyptian a soda. Melvin caught it. The thief guessed as he sat down across from Melvin at the kitchen table, "So, Marik knows you're here I presume?"

"Nope. I came to see my favorite victim first." Melvin grinned, adding with cruel humor, "Don't you feel special?"

"Indeed," Bakura answered, taking a drink of his soda. But, he was already planning to call Marik as soon as possible and get the psychotic yami shipped out of Japan. As well as the two yamis got along, that didn't stop Bakura from being as scared as hell of the second Egyptian Pansy.

"So," Melvin inquired, "I don't see your hakari anywhere… How is the little fruitcake?"

Bakura growled, "He's _not _a fruitcake. In fact, he's on a date with a girl right now."

"Impressive," Melvin commented, finishing off his soda.

Bakura questioned, "How did you know I lived here anyway? _No one _knows I live here."

"I got some directions from a certain pain in the ass Pharaoh and his host." Melvin smirked, thinking aloud, "Honestly, you think they'd relocate after all the enemies they've made in the past few years."

"You'd think…" Bakura trailed off, enjoying his imagination running wild with the idea of Melvin getting his address out of Atem and his munchkin.

Melvin drummed his fingers on the table and finally asked, "All right, you still haven't asked me why I've come here. Why?"

"I didn't want to be rude," Bakura lied, shrugging. In all honesty, he was just terrified of his fellow yami. Melvin was the _only _psychopath who could make _another _psychopath scared.

Melvin chuckled, "Since when have you cared whether you were rude or not? Has Ryou been keeping you on a short leash?"

Bakura hissed, "Shut the hell up. Can't psychopaths be civil to one another?" 

"No," Melvin answered simply.

Bakura leaned on his hand and blew the bangs out of his eyes, huffing, "Fine."

Suddenly, Kitty jumped on the table between Melvin and Bakura, startling them both. The cat strolled over to Melvin and sniffed him with his pink nose before brushing his ghostly white head against Melvin's chin, purring.

"Your cat likes me, 'Kura," Melvin informed the albino.

"Hmm," Bakura hummed, intrigued by this. He called, "Come here, Kitty."

Kitty looked up at his master and obeyed, climbing into Bakura's lap and falling asleep. Bakura guessed his cat was comfortable around psychotic spirits…

"So," Bakura looked back at Melvin, saying, "Back on topic, I guess I will ask. Why are you here? I suppose it's not just a friendly visit. Am I wrong?"

Melvin chuckled, "Well, it _is _a friendly visit, but it's not the only reason I'm here."

"What do you want?" Bakura began questioning, "Money? The Millennium Items? The Pharaoh's power?"

"A place to stay," Melvin fed his curiosity plainly then added, "But, those other things wouldn't hurt either…"

"Just a place to stay?" Bakura inquired, "That's it?"

"Yep," Melvin confirmed, "Just for a few weeks until Marik can find the time to come and haul me away." He deduced, "You _were _planning on calling him, weren't you?"

Bakura swallowed. Was it that obvious? He stated, "Yes. And… I suppose it is all right for you to stay here. It will be nice to have a non-prissy yami here for a little while."

Melvin bobbed his blonde head, saying, "Thanks, 'Kura."

"Sure," Bakura huffed. He enlightened, "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get some sleep before Ryou comes home and bores me with all the details of his date." He lied on his bed and pointed back, telling Melvin, "You can take the couch."

"Fair enough," Melvin agreed and dropped on the sofa. It wasn't long before the yami fell into a growl-like snoring.

Bakura fell asleep soon after, oddly okay with having the psychotic yami sleeping just across the room.

-transition-

Bakura woke up at about two in the morning, soft sniffles and sobs doing so.

"Ryou?" he called out sleepily into the darkness of the dorm, "Is that you?"

It was Ryou. But, he only responded with slightly stronger sniffles as he tried desperately to keep his sobs quiet.

Immediately, Bakura woke up from his daze and knew something was wrong with his hakari.

He threw his blanket off of him and tripped over to Ryou. The boy was sitting up and leaning against his bed's headboard, his face hiding in his crossed arms. Bakura sat down next to his 'twin' and wrapped his other half in his arms. It was a hug. But, ask Bakura if it was a hug, and he would deny everything. So, don't ask.

"What did that bitch do to you?" Bakura interrogated fiercely.

"I- I don't want to talk- talk about it," Ryou barely articulated through choked sobs. But, he finally lifted his head from his arms, and Bakura could see the large, innocent tears glistening in his wide eyes from the moon's rays slipping through the window.

Bakura embraced Ryou tighter and urged, "You need to tell me, hakari. If you don't, you'll never feel better." The explanation didn't make much logical sense, but it served its purpose.

Ryou stifled another sob and agreed by nodding, though Bakura couldn't see the gesture in the dark. He could only detect the movement. After a few deep breaths, Ryou explained slowly, "Kepi was acting strange. I didn't understand it. She talked of bad things, and I told her no just like you told me to… But, she was persistent. I told her I wanted to leave so she-"

He stopped in mid-sentence.

"She what?" Bakura questioned, seething with rage.

Ryou was silent.

Bakura decided to turn on the light so that he could get a clue from Ryou's expression. He leaned to the side and turned on the bedside table light. Then, he swerved back to Ryou.

And, the answer was plain on his face.

Ryou was wearing a nice, bright black eye.

Words could not describe how livid Bakura was at that moment.

So, he just spilled every word he knew.

"That _conceited, shallow, condescending, pompous, arrogant bitch! _She is so _dead_!"

Bakura jumped up and began pacing in a vain attempt to keep himself from punching out a wall. He punched a wall anyway. Then, he muttered as he began to swiftly walk out, "I'll be back, Ryou…"

"No, 'Kura!" Ryou hopped up and grasped his yami's arm. He begged, "Please don't hurt her!"

"Why not?" Bakura asked intensely, spitting venom, "She's already hurt you!"

"Revenge gets people nowhere!" Ryou insisted, fresh tears growing in his eyes.

Bakura tried to reason, "What about that war we're learning about in history class… Uh… The one that lasted more than a hundred years…"

"The Hundred Years War?"

"Yeah, that one." Bakura tried to relate the two subjects, "They were trying to get revenge on each other, right?"

"I suppose…"

"And, now the Norwegians and the Dutch are great nations."

"The English and the French…" Bakura corrected quietly.

"Whatever!" Bakura snapped, retrieving his arm from Ryou, "Point is, revenge solved their problems and it's gonna solve ours."

Ryou began to protest, "But-"

Bakura intercepted, "But nothing." He ordered, "Ryou, get some ice on your eye and go back to sleep. Don't try to stop me, because you can't."

Ryou looked in his yami's eyes and saw pure hatred and the passion for revenge dwelling in the dull brown irises. And fury. Fury that could not be extinguished by anything but vengeance.

The smaller albino did not want to approve of this, but he knew Bakura was right. He couldn't stop him even if he wanted to. So, he slowly walked back and sunk into his bed, defeated.

_Excellent, _Bakura thought quickly. He was almost too furious to remember Melvin. _Almost._

The thief hiked over to the couch where the other yami snored, somehow able to sleep throughout the entirety of the episode that just occurred.

He kicked the Egyptian and ordered in a low growl, "Wake up before I kill you instead of her."

"'Kura," Melvin admired as he looked up at his mutual psychopath, "I've never seen you so mad. This has _got _to be good." He sat up instantly and inquired, "So, what's up?"

"You want to stay here?" Bakura questioned. He didn't wait for a reply and declared, "Then, you'll have to do me a favor. And, I need one. Right now. I need another psychopathic yami pronto."

"You got it," Marik agreed, standing up. He inquired as he followed the livid Bakura out the door, "What are we gonna do?"

"Follow the Spanish and the Indian's example and take back Canada," Bakura responded through clenched teeth, thinking he had it right that time.

_Author's Note: YAYZ! Quick update! And a long one, too!_

_Bakura and Ryou fluff is just precious! :3_

_Review?_


	14. Chapter XIV: Feelings

_Author's Note: I love my reviewers! :3_

_Next chapter!_

Chapter XIV: Feelings

School was lonely that week after. Bakura went to school alone, Ryou faking the flu so that he could stay home until his black eye healed. Bakura told him that he could milk his injury and get some special attention, but Ryou insisted on staying at home. He argued that someone had to watch Melvin anyway.

Chemistry was quiet as well, due to the fact that a certain bratty teenager had had an… unfortunate accident and would be transferring schools after she recovered.

So, that left only Atem to pester the hell out of Bakura.

"I know you did it."

Bakura didn't look up from his painting. He was in the zone. So, he merely questioned as he continued to concentrate, "Did what, Pharaoh?"

"That 'unfortunate accident' that happened to Kepi from science class," Atem used air quotes. He insisted, "I know it was you."

"So what if it was?" Bakura inquired, trying to maintain his focus.

"And, I suppose you didn't do it alone," Atem guessed, "Being that Yugi and I had an unwelcome visit from the third yami." Atem crossed his arms, his crimson eyes narrowed.

Bakura put down his work and smirked at the past Pharaoh. "Ah, yes, by the way, how'd that go?" He was thoroughly enjoying how agitated Atem was.

Atem responded sarcastically, "Just wonderful." He sighed and told the thief, "You can't just go around hurting all the people you dislike, Bakura."

"Why not?" Bakura asked. He added, "It worked five thousand years ago, and it works now."

Atem growled, "Yes, and I'm still sore about it."

Bakura shrugged this off and presumed, "So, does this mean you're going back to being a goody-goody and you're not gonna cause havoc with me anymore?"

"Correct," Atem confirmed and explained, "Yugi found out about it anyway. I'm not allowed to do anything even remotely evil anymore."

"Fine!" Bakura exclaimed, looking down on the short past Pharaoh, "I can cause destruction myself!" He yelled this a little _too _loudly, and now the entire class was staring at the quarreling spirits.

Atem whispered, "Way to go."

"Shut the hell up!" Bakura hissed just as loudly as before. In a fit of rage, he stormed out of the classroom, leaving the class to wonder about what the heck happened and Atem to consider just what to do about the troubled thief.

Bakura stomped down the school hallway, not caring where he was going. Why was he taking this so hard? It was just the Pharaoh, disappointing his people again. Nothing new. So, why did it hurt so much?

Bakura had to admit; having a partner in crime _was_ nice. Atem and his pranks, (although juvenile), were somewhat entertaining. Could Atem be considered more than just a fellow yami? Dare he say it, a _friend_?

That word nauseated Bakura.

The spirit sunk down to the school hallway floor and leaned against the lockers, making it easier to sort his thoughts.

Yami Bakura had only ever counted one person as a friend.

Ryou.

But, Ryou was less of an equal and more of a child Bakura had to look out for and protect. He was much more a chore than a pleasure, though the yami loved his hakari all the same.

Melvin and Marik were considered equals as well. But, Melvin scared the living hell out of him and Marik was much too annoying to put up with.

Only Atem seemed to fit the role of Bakura's ideal friend.

How could he let something as nauseating as _friendship _cloud his mind?

Bakura hit the back of his head against the steel lockers behind him in frustration.

He had always been alone. Alone for far too long really. So, how could have this _friendship _thing slipped in so easily? Shouldn't he have detected a change in his usual arrangements?

No. Friendship was too comfortable a feeling. It had escaped under his radar.

_Never mind the bloody Pharaoh, _Bakura chastised himself, _I can slowly turn this damn school upside-down myself. And, this time, I'm not holding any of my brilliant and devious ideas back. No, I'll start with-_

"'Kura!"

Bakura cocked his head to the side and spotted Melvin sprinting down the hall in his direction. He finally reached Bakura and panted in place, regaining his breath.

"Melvin? What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be at home, annoying the hell out of my hakari." Bakura stood up so that the yami's gazes were even.

Melvin finally caught his breath and held out a paper bag, reporting, "The fruitcake sent me here to deliver this to you. It's your lunch." Melvin smirked. "He stressed that I should tell you that there's a peanut butter sandwich, a pudding cup, and some tuna for Kitty."

"_Ryou_…" Bakura muttered, snatching the bag from the spirit. He sunk back down to the floor and ran his hand through his thick, white hair, mumbling, "I'm gonna kill that kid someday."

"No, you're not," Melvin immediately countered, sitting down against the lockers next to his mutual yami. He stated, "You're too soft."

"Am not," Bakura argued.

"Are to," Melvin retorted.

Bakura really wasn't in the mood for games and sighed. He ordered, "Go back home, Melvin. I got to get back to class unless I want Ryou to kill _me._"

"_Soft," _Melvin coughed as he stood up. He waved behind him, and without looking back, said, "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya."

Bakura growled but followed suit, standing up after the other yami had rounded the corner and had disappeared from sight. He began hiking back to class.

Though, his return was interrupted first.

"Hey, 'Kura," Atem greeted, intercepting Bakura's hike back.

"What do you want?" Bakura hissed.

Atem held out Bakura's backpack and informed him, "You forgot Kitty."

Bakura took his backpack from the Pharaoh, muttering a very low and almost undetectable, "Thanks." Then, he noticed some sort of cloth wrapped around the other yami's hand, blood seeping through it. He asked, motioning to the injury, "You slam your hand in your locker or something?"

The Pharaoh grew a subtle shade of pink from embarrassment and mumbled, "Your cat bit me again…"

Bakura grew a smirk and whispered into his backpack, "Good, Kitty."

Atem narrowed his eyes. Bakura shrugged.

The albino spirit departed, dismissing himself, "Well, I've got some innocent civilians to terrorize. You know, the usual. Later, Pharaoh." He walked away, leaving Atem to go get his hand checked out by the school nurse.

-transition-

"I hate that bastard Pharaoh," Bakura stated immediately as he walked into his and Ryou's dorm after school had ended.

Melvin was perched on the couch, enjoying some cartoons and a bowl of noodles. He heard Bakura's statement, and without taking his eyes off the TV screen, he responded, "Join the club."

Bakura collapsed on the sofa next to the other yami. "What will we call it?" Bakura wondered aloud, playing along.

"We'll call it… The League of Criminal Masterminds."

"The L.C.M.?"

"Wait, doesn't 'masterminds' count as two m's or is it just one?"

"Does it matter?"

"Guess not… Anyway," Melvin shifted the subject, slurping up one of his noodles out of a multicolored bowl, "What'd the Pharaoh do today that made you so agitated?"

"Does there have to be a reason besides the fact that he exists?"

"No," Melvin reasoned, "But, there must be some particular reason you, and I quote, 'hate that bastard Pharaoh' today."

Bakura pouted and admitted, "Atem said he won't cause destruction with me anymore."

"You mean those juvenile pranks you guys have been playing?"

"Yep."

"Why do you care?"

This question caught Bakura off guard. He lied easily, "I was just so close to bringing him to the dark side. But, he slipped my grasp."

"I'm sure you'd _love _the Pharaoh in your grasp…"

Bakura punched Melvin's arm causing him to spill his bowl of noodles onto the carpet.

"Dude, uncalled for!" Melvin complained, leaving the upturned bowl on the floor, muttering, "Ryou will get it."

"Where is Ryou anyway?" Bakura asked, his narrowed eyes glancing around.

"The store," Melvin reported.

Bakura picked up a phone, saying, "I'll tell him to pick up more noodles."

"You can't," Melvin informed, "He left his phone."

"Well, that's irritating…" Bakura whipped his trench coat from the back of a chair and put it on, saying, "I'm gonna go meet Ryou at the store. I need him to pick up some more catnip for Kitty anyway…" He left the dorm, muttering behind him, "If this place is in ashes when I come back, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"You wouldn't and you couldn't," Melvin quipped, smirking. The door slammed and the abandoned muttered after him, "'Cause you're too soft."

_Author's Note: Kind of a cliffhanger… Kind of. _

_Review time?_


	15. Chapter XV: Trouble

_Author's Note: I wish I didn't have to sleep. Then, I could have gotten this done a lot sooner! Ugh._

_Here you go!_

_P.S. I've edited this story so many times, I practically have it memorized… It's pretty awesome! :D_

Chapter XV: Trouble

Ryou was peacefully shopping in the grocery store, deciding between one percent milk and two, when he heard a loud crash.

The hakari sprinted to the source of the crashing, wanting to do all he could to help. But, he learned that _he _was partly the problem.

In front of him, Bakura had been cart surfing and had run right into a shelf of assorted cereal, the entire mantelpiece capsizing and leaving the yami covered in boxes and sugar.

"BAKURA!"

"Hey, Ryou," Bakura casually greeted, waving with his free hand that wasn't buried under the cereal.

Ryou gave a sigh and took his 'twin's' hand, pulling him out of the grocery store rubble.

A manager came running and asked as he reached the site, "What happened here?"

Ryou apologized for Bakura, saying, "Sorry, sir, my brother was messing around and got a little out of control."

The man gave an exasperated sigh, seeing (or assuming) that the culprit was just a teenager. He'd seen much worse anyway. He dismissed, "It's all right. Just please don't cause anymore destruction."

"Right," Ryou agreed.

"No promises," Bakura muttered.

Ryou shot him a look, and the yami became silent.

The manager accepted these answers and walked off to go find someone to clean up the mess.

Ryou grabbed his 'brother's' arm and dragged him away, admonishing, "Why do you keep doing this to me, 'Kura? Why do you keep causing trouble?"

"I don't know," Bakura answered honestly, swatting Ryou's hand away so that the boy would stop dragging him.

Ryou pushed a piece of paper in Bakura's idle hands, saying, "Well, while you're here, you might as well be helpful. Go get a cart, one you won't crash into a shelf preferably, and collect these things, okay?"

"Sure." Bakura saw no point in arguing. Besides, he could tweak the list to fit his _specifications._

Once the pair had finished shopping, Ryou drove into full-on lecture mode on the car ride home. Bakura felt like dying. But the lecturing abruptly stopped when Ryou admitted that the incident was kind of funny…

Ryou parked the car in front of the dorms, but suddenly, his face grew white- well, whiter than usual.

"What is it?" Bakura asked, noticing this.

"How long have we been gone?" Ryou asked simply.

"I don't know… A few hours maybe?"

"And, nobody was home with Melvin?"

"No, but-"

Bakura and Ryou faced each other in similar revelation. They jumped out of the car and into the building, simultaneously fearing the worst. Bakura practically kicked the door down.

But Melvin was still sitting on the sofa, the bowl of noodles was still upside down on the carpet, and the dorm appeared to be untouched, the exact way they left it.

"What the hell?" Bakura was the first to ask. He added, "I was so sure we'd come to disaster…"

Melvin scoffed, "You fruitcakes have such little faith in me…"

Ryou admitted, his gaze still examining the rooms, "I guess we misjudged you, Melvin. We're sorry."

"Hmm," Melvin hummed contently with a wide grin. It almost dared Bakura to say something snarky. But Bakura only growled, not willing to fall into the yami's little trap.

_At least Melvin didn't do anything stupid while we were gone._

-transition-

There was harsh knocking at Bakura and Ryou's door at around midnight.

Bakura, being the only one to hear it, groggily staggered to his feet to answer the door. He stumbled over and swung the door open, hissing as he did, "This better be good."

It was a police officer.

"Uh, morning, officer?" Bakura offered skeptically, an eyebrow rising. He couldn't remember doing anything wrong recently…

"Thank you for answering, sir." The officer explained, "We're looking for a most likely insane young man who committed some crimes earlier but escaped." The man held up a picture, interrogating, "Have you seen this individual?"

It was Melvin. A very blurry picture of Melvin, but it was Melvin nonetheless.

Bakura smirked, knowing Melvin was sleeping soundly behind Bakura on their sofa. _So, _that's _what Melvin did while we were at the store…_

__"Hmm," Bakura hummed, "I do believe I know where this person is."

"Could you tell me, sir?" the police officer questioned.

Bakura nodded and quickly listed the Pharaoh and his hakari's address. With that information recorded, the police officer took off.

_Melvin is right. The Pharaoh and his host really should have relocated…_

_Author's Note: I know it's short. Don't kill me for that. There's more awesomeness to come!_

_Review!_


	16. Chapter XVI: More Trouble

_Author's Note: … Did I seriously not update ALL FREAKIN' SUMMER? That's it; I'm making a deadline for myself. From now on, this will be updated at least every week. Hold me to that, too. Don't let me forget. _

_Now, without further ado, another chapter. (Took long enough.)_

Chapter XVI: More Trouble

Oh, Bakura was in trouble. Big trouble. He'd decided to put some of his devious plans into action, this time, without a partner in crime. And things had quickly gone south.

He'd gotten caught.

Life was cruel.

At least, that's what Bakura thought as he sat in the principal's office, said principal ranting nonstop about something or another; like Bakura would ever even give the gal the time of day. He just nodded every once in a while to keep the woman happy, like he was actually halfway caring about what she was saying.

_Damn security cameras… _Bakura thought as the principal continued her monologue, _How was I supposed to know about their magical powers of recording stuff?_

The principal began wrapping up her speech, making Bakura perk up so that he would be able to bolt the minute she said he was free to go.

"… So, with the knowledge that you've been causing a lot of trouble lately, I'd like to have a meeting with your parents after school tomorrow."

"'_Parents_'?" Bakura spat the word. Genuine terror started to intoxicate him.

The lady nodded, the gesture ringing in Bakura's head like a death bell.

-transition-

"I'm screwed," Bakura announced, walking into the dorm and finding Ryou and Melvin playing a friendly game of Duel Monsters at the kitchen table.

"What do you mean by that?" Ryou asked his yami fearfully, gazing at him from over his hand of cards.

Melvin teased in a baby voice, "Did the little student get in a little trouble, 'Kura?"

Bakura smacked the top of Melvin's head, chastising, "This is serious!"

"What is?" Ryou asked again.

Bakura simply handed his 'twin' a note.

Ryou clenched the paper in his pale hands and read the words inscribed on them thoroughly. He dropped it onto the table as he concluded it in the simple sentence of: "Well, this isn't good…"

"What isn't?" Melvin questioned, rubbing his head where Bakura had taken his anger out on him.

Bakura informed in a defeated tone, "I got in trouble, and now my _parents _have to meet with the principal."

The room fell silent-

-until Melvin burst into laughter.

"It's not funny, Melvin!" Bakura smacked the Egyptian again. It was to no avail, though. Melvin continued to cackle.

Ryou inquired, "What are you going to do, 'Kura?"

"Hell if I know!" Bakura sunk into a seat next to his hikari and set his white head down on the table.

"I have an idea," Melvin randomly stated, his laughing episode done and over with.

Bakura glared at the fellow yami from his head's position on the table, warning him, "It better not be stupid."

"Or what?" Melvin challenged.

"Or else."

"That's not a very logical comeback."

"Your face isn't a very logical comeback."

"Your mom."

"No, yours."

"What's your idea, Melvin?" Ryou interrupted their comeback war.

Melvin pitched, "Why don't Ryou and I pose as your parents? Ryou looks like you, and the school has never seen me."

Bakura sat up and mulled this proposal over in his mind.

"Ooh!" Ryou clasped his hands together cheerfully. "I call being 'Kura's mom!"

Bakura facepalmed. He mumbled under his breath, "Please don't say things like that, Ryou, it scares me…"

Melvin snickered, but Bakura kicked his foot from under the table before any snarky comment could pass the Egyptian's lips.

"Abusive," Melvin coughed. He recovered easily and questioned, "Don't you think my idea could work?"

"I guess," Bakura admitted. "But you two would have to dress appropriate for the parts…"

"Gotcha," Melvin agreed, lazily propping his feet up on the table.

"And you have to _act _the part," Bakura stressed, pushing Melvin's feet off the table.

Melvin grunted but shrugged this off, crossing his arms.

"I can act the part, 'Kura!" Ryou insisted enthusiastically, "I've been acting like your mom for years!"

Bakura kicked Ryou. Not as hard as he had done to Melvin, but the intent was there.

Instead of whimpering like Bakura had predicted his hikari would do, Ryou surprised him by placing his hands on his hips and crying, "Young man, you will not treat your mother this way! I raised you better than this!"

Bakura facepalmed a second time.

_Yep, I'm screwed._

-transition-

"Hello, and you are…" The principal trailed off awkwardly.

"Melvin," Melvin supplied. He was dressed in regular clothes for once. His usual attire of black shirt, beige cargo pants was replaced with jeans and T-shirt. The Egyptian gestured to Ryou. "And this is my lovely wife, R… Rachel," he quickly made up.

'Rachel' shook the principal's hand, saying in a more high-pitched voice (that didn't really change at all), "It's so nice to meet you!" Ryou's wardrobe took a lot more work to complete. Melvin suggested a dress, which Bakura immediately shot down. That'd just be _too _creepy. So, 'Rachel' was in some casual shorts and a plan light blue top.

"Likewise," the principal replied, signaling the three to sit down in front of her desk. She invited almost too happily, like she actually took pleasure in seeing Bakura's suffering. "Please, sit."

Bakura sullenly took the chair between his 'parents', looking more and more like a squeamish child in- well- the principal's office.

_So far, so good, _he reminded himself, hating every _second_ he was there and not somewhere else.

The principal sat across from them and explained, "I asked you two to come and talk about Bakura's behavior. Your other son, Ryou is doing a fine job here. Just Bakura is causing trouble."

Bakura caught Ryou wearing a smile from this comment and resisted the urge to kick him under the desk.

The rest of the conference was blocked out in Bakura's mind. He only paid the slightest bit of attention but only to make sure his 'parents' didn't screw up.

And, just when the discussion was about to come to a close, all hell broke loose.

The principal's door opened, revealing Atem.

"Bakura?" Atem was sporting a lovely smirk as he quickly analyzed the situation and took a guess as to what was happening. "It's been a long time since I've seen your parents. We have _so much _to catch up on, don't we?"

_Ra, strike me down now._

_Author's Note: I forgot how much fun it is writing this story. I will DEFINITELY write chapters faster in the near future. If you've stuck with me all this time, thank you. I cry tears of joy over your guy's love. TT_TT_

_If I still deserve it, please review._


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